Don't think you ever want to be a dominatrix? Neither does Lady Shade. But there are still a lot of really good reasons to take a dominatrix class. Just ask her. In this new, regular column Lady Shade shares with us what she is learning in Colette Pervette's inaugural online Mistress Class.
I'm Lady Shade. That's my dominatrix name. It's new. I came up with it on the fly during the first meeting of Colette Pervette's Mistress Class. A place I never imagined I'd be. Because I never wanted to be a dominatrix. Certainly not a professional one, and even after our first class, I'm still not sure I want to be one in my personal life, either. So why'd I sign up?
Let's step back for a second. I'm not particularly extraordinary. Which is to say, I am only extraordinary in the sense that every single one of us is extraordinary in some way. But I don't like to stand out. I am uncomfortable being the center of attention. Truthfully, I sometimes don't even like to ask for what I want. In bed or otherwise. It's often easier to give way to those who like being vocal and insistent than have to figure it out about myself. And it feels good – pleasing others, feeling appreciated.
But someone (I can't say who because I am bound to keep the secrets of all the Mistresses), sent me a note telling me about the Mistress Class. She didn't seem certain she wanted to be a dominatrix either, but she was signing up. What she knew she wanted to learn, she said, was "stepping into her power." Check, I thought. I'd like to feel entitled to that too. As well as more about "her own sexuality, a little bit of kinky play, empathy, listening skills, boundaries and how to create a sacred, safe space for her and her partner to explore intimacy." Check x 6, I thought. And signed up.
Our first assignment was to pick a domme name. Lady Shade came to me immediately. I have always been more comfortable lurking in the shade. I like the dark, am a night owl naturally, in fact. If I believe in anything, it's in the complicatedness of life. The complicatedness of everybody and how that multiplies increasingly with every relationship. I abhor black-or-white philosphies, or the taking of positions (not sexual, naturally) that can't fathom the possibility of the legitimacy of the other side. My religion is curiosity and openness and interconnectedness; the antithesis of black or white. I like gray. I'm Lady Shade.
I invite you to join my journey as I learn to become a Mistress. To witness my transformation from someone whose comfort lies in the shadows to a woman who is powerful, magnetic, compelling and in charge. Sexually, and otherwise. I am ready. Are you?
Kiss kiss, slap slap.
Xxxx, Lady Shade
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