Touch Me: By Nina Ross

CRUSH Reader Nina Ross’s recent piece Just Call Me Already really hit a cord with a lot of readers. Thankfully, she’s back with another exhortation.

When I'm not in a romantic relationship, there are a few silver linings—dinner choice is mine, as is what to watch on tv and, when I have a cold, there is no discussion of who sleeps where. Notwithstanding that, there is one thing I especially miss. No, I don't mean sex...that I have some back up plans for. It's being touched. That magical feeling when someone puts their hand—or leg or hip or head next to you and you are connected to them, literally.

For me, touch soothes, calms and pleases all at the same time. No words, no expectations, just that feeling of being in relationship with someone without really having to do anything. An acknowledgment that you are both in this world together, even if only for a moment. In community, connected, maybe even intertwined. It's glorious!

When I don't have the regular touch of someone in my life, massage is my secret weapon. The gentle grazing of another person's hand or forearm on my body reminds me of all of the wonderful people in my world. I feel love and connection to my community, appreciation for the life I've created, and a warmth that fills me up in an irreplaceable way. It’s one person’s soothing touch, but it channels so many more.

I'm also a hugger--from my dog walker to colleagues at work, to old (and new) friends, when it feels right, I lean in. Once I smile and acknowledge my hugging tendencies I'm often greeted with a reciprocal smile. Occasionally, I get it wrong and someone looks at me like I have two heads, but I'm ok with that. Onwards and upwards!

And then there is dancing. I'm not very good at it, but damn I like it! The opportunity to touch someone incidentally and on purpose, to be held, all while listening to music. It's delicious.

There are limitless ways to be touched--getting a pedicure, shaking hands with the person next to you at church, or playing a game of red rover (remember that?). Whatever fills your tank. It doesn't need to be romantic to count.

Touch is my magical pick up on a droopy day. And always just a person away.

Want to read something else great by Nina?

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The Crush Letter is a weekly newsletter from Dish Stanley curating articles & intelligence on pop culture, and everything love & connection - friendship, romance, self-love, sex. If you’d like to take a look at some of our best stories go to Read Us. Want the Dish?