In this series, readers like you share recommendations for the things they love the most, right at this moment.
Three Things I’m Crushing On: More Transition Dressing. These Are For A Trip! by Dish Stanley
I am spending most of October in Europe on a trip that will incorporate eating, drinking and shopping in the South of France with one set of friends, followed by a hike with girlfriends on the Camino de Santiago in Spain. As CRUSH Readers know, I don’t check luggage, so I have to get a lot out of what I’m packing, starting with these core pieces.
Yeah, I know that everybody already knows about Rothy’s. But I just wanted to make the point that this particular color is perfect for the transition period. It will look so good with my new Julia Amory Betty Dress in Noir, and I got this style has the additional comfort insole. I have an extensive European trip coming up where my primary colorway will black/tan, and these will be both comfortable and versatile (for pants and dresses).
I’ve bought quite a few pieces from line by K since I dropped weight and got in shape over the summer of 2023. Most of their clothes are extremely body conscious, but this is a fuller, very lightweight skirt with some texture that makes it work particularly well as a transitional piece, plus it won’t show wrinkles and folds up easily. And it has pockets! I like that it has this slit up one side, which doesn’t show much when you’re walking but if I want to be a little sexier over dinner in the South of France, I could open it over my knee. Here’s the slit:
I am going to bring a fitted long-sleeve lightweight black cotton top to pair it with to balance the full proportions of the skirt. Then I can throw a sweater over my shoulders. I also always travel with one pair of dangling earrings, one lightweight chunky necklace that I got in Venice and a beautiful lightweight Hermes sweater. I’ll use those to change things up. Voila! As they say in St. Tropez. Here’s what I’m thinking of for the top. (I like the subtle ruching).
This slouchy, classic bag is such a winner. You can wear it over your shoulder, or take the strap off and carry it is a cool-looking clutch. I use it with a cross-body strap (which you can buy from them, or I already had a few of my own that worked). It is large enough to fit everything you really need, but small enough to slip into your luggage. This bag looks great for breaking up all the black I’ll be wearing, and works well with my Desert Cat Rothy’s.
Three Summer to Fall Transition Dresses I'm Crushing On. By Dish Stanley
The Julia Amory Betty Dress in Noir
I love a great summer-to-fall transition dress! You can’t tell from looking at it, but the cotton is a thick, heavy one which really makes it work for days and nights with a slight chill. But because it’s cotton, it’s not too warm for an Indian Summer. This dress is so smart looking and flattering. I like to “pop the collar” and wear some big gold earrings to go out for dinner, to dress it up and make it more sophisticated. It is equally good for a casual lunch with some sneakers and more casual accessories. A total winner.
Ann Mashburn Anaya Popover Dress in Black Poplin
I saw this in the window of their store on Madison Avenue while walking by last September (2023). I wore it all fall. It goes everywhere — you just vary the shoe — sneaker, sandal, flat or boots. Brunch/lunch/dinner. It’s so easy and looks smart. Pair it with black tights and it goes all the way into November.
The Louise Slip Dress in Black by Organic By John Patrick
My friend Di first turned me onto this slip dress in Navy, which I get so much wear out of. I just ordered it in black for fall. I almost wear my slip dress with a light cashmere sweater on (or over my shoulders). For feeling like I’ve got “more coverage” I wear a long cardigan, for a date I wear a boxier, sexier silk/cashmere blend. This dress is so packable and versatile! (Don’t worry, it is not as short as it looks on the model.)
Three Things I'm Crushing On: Jess
I will never go back to kibble for my beloved Winston. I conceptually signed on to the “fresh, healthy food movement for dogs” a while back but couldn’t find the right, convenient product that worked for me, since I move to different spots in the winter and summer. Winston didn’t like The Farmer’s Dog, and I didn’t like its mushiness, messiness, smell or packaging. I learned about MAEV and I can’t rave about it enough. I love the packaging, which is so easy to keep in my freezer and Winston loves the food.
I LOVE a hands-free dog leash, and I’ve tried a few. The Fable Fable is the best designed, most functional and beautiful version of the hands free leash. I love that you can use it as a slip collar, and it can go around my waist (Winston is 75 pounds). For smaller dogs you could slip it diagonally off your shoulders, but I like the extra stability of it around my waist. I bought the pink one! It’s so smart!
Winston has high noise anxiety. Not just fireworks, but also thunder, the lawn mower, the sound of hard rain against the window. The Thundershirt does not *completely calm* him for sure, but it goes a long way toward helping. If I am going out and rain or thunder is predicted, I always slip the Thundershirt on before I take off. He wears it when I’m home, of course, but there’s no way I’m going to leave him home alone without the support of the Thundershirt if bad weather is in the forecast.
Three Things I'm Crushing On: From Crush Reader Paul
My wife and I needed a really good twin-sized mattress and frame to pull out for visits from extended family and friends. When our house is full with our kids and their kids, we needed a “real bed” that could fit in an existing guest bedroom, but then be taken out and stored when they leave (for less clutter). We did not want to go the “blow-up bed” route — we wanted a better, more “permanent” bed offering. A friend recommended the Nectar with the foldable frame and it’s been great. It’s solid! It doesn’t squeak. With a mattress pad and bedskirt it looks and feels like a real bed — because it is – and we even kept one up in my office as a day bed / extra bed for guests.
This is another great thing we started doing whenever we are hosting a crowd. We order the 18 bagel bunch with cream cheese to be delivered the day of our guests’ arrival. It is there, in our fridge and pantry, for everyone to help themselves — until it all gets eaten up. It is SO CONVENIENT and EVERYONE LOVES IT. Really good bagels! If there are any left, we just freeze them.
We got a bunch of monogrammed weezie towels and the pool lounge chair cover-ups this summer. We have a pool and are also near a beach. We needed a fresh set for the summer, and love the look and feel of these towels. Plus, there’s a big advantage to being able to monogram towels when people are taking them to friends’ houses, to the beach, etc. We found that a lot more of them found their way back to us.
Three Things I'm Crushing On: From Crush Reader Bea
There is nothing like slipping on a cool poplin “short pajama set” after dinner for lounging and then slipping into bed. This set is “guest appropriate” to be seen in grabbing coffee if you’re staying at a friend’s and oh-so-comfortable. After wearing the short set all July, I ordered the cami nightgown for August. So cool. Loved it just as much.
Thanks to your piece on the importance of using European sunscreen (and where to get the good stuff — The French Pharmacy & Care to Beauty), I discovered Anthelios products. That led to their Age Correct Gel Cream, which I use daily because in addition to providing sunscreen, it helps to minimize wrinkles and dark spots. Love it when I can find a product that multi-tasks.
The other product I fell in love with this summer is the Ilia Hydrating Lip Crayon. I have admired this brand for a while and have many friends who have been longstanding fans, but it is the ease, simplicity and beautiful look of their lip crayons that brought me in.
Three Things I'm Crushing On: from Crush Reader Paul
I think CRUSH Readers should know about this line of everyday/outdoor clothing. I just discovered it—it’s out of Charleston, SC. It’s all lightweight, thought-out thoroughly, comfortable and good-looking in a classic, cool way. It’s straightforward, but cool is the best way to describe it. Take this Elevate T-Shirt: fits great, very lightweight (which makes it ultra comfortable and it dries really fast if you’re using it to bike or hike, etc.). More performance than cotton but a cotton look.
I have different versions of the Breeze short for doing different things, but they’re all great. You should check them all out for finding what works for you. I like the 6” M’s Breeze Short for most everything, but I also just got the new camo color in their Reverb short, which is also good for everything. And a little more interesting. All these shorts are solid, versatile players.
Since this is The Crush Letter, I should mention their Motion Boxer Brief. Ridiculously soft, so I like to wear them. I am 63. My girlfriend seems to like them too, which is important.
Anything else you’d like to share?
I swear I don’t work for the company! But I really like it and it sits in that place between dull (LL Bean, most JCrew) and over-hyped (Patagonia, etc.).
Three Food-Related Things I'm Crushing On: From CRUSH Reader Gail
OMG I’m so into these (over, say, drinking a cocktail) for social events. Sunnies are pastilles (i.e., mints) with just the right micro-dosed balance of thc and kanna to give you an ever so slight lift. The Sunnies people say “our proprietary formula creates a subtle euphoric and blissful effect for a plant-powered mood boost.” There’s only 1mg of THC in each, so we are talking a very slight lift (less than a glass of wine). Kanna is a South African plant that has been used as a natural mood enhancer since the 1600’s. I take two Sunnies before I go out to socialize, and then drink something non-alcoholic. They have zero calories and none of the after-effects on my sleep (and etc.) that alcohol does. Read the ingredients/instruction/dosing (always).
Absolutely obsessed with these. So refreshing and only 50 calories each. This is a brand new product from my favorite grocery store source for sorbet/ice cream. I was literally walking through my local Whole Foods to pick up some of their sea salt caramel gelato when I noticed an employee stocking these mini sorbetto bars. He said they were a brand new item and I scooped up a box to try. I quickly became addicted. They are mini, and that’s all I really need—a few refreshing bites. Unlike scooping out from a container, it is so easy to just stop at one. The lemon is tart and perfect for warm weather.
A friend who knows I love to cook sent me this as an impromptu gift. It’s brilliant and I can’t believe I ever lived without what has become my favorite, most-used kitchen gadget. A light spray of oil over fish (or whatever I’m cooking) is so much better than the thick glop that I was pouring on with a bottle. Of course I’ve tried the cans of olive oil spray from the grocery store but I’m picky about my olive oil and didn’t like the flavor or quality of what I could get in a can. This sprayer is the solution, and I use it almost daily (yes, I cook every day). This particular model is high-end and high quality.
Three Things I’m Crushing On. By Dish Stanley
Let’s Talk About Skincare.
I haven’t always been serious about my skincare, but this year I have doubled down on my health and wellness across the board. That has included adding these products to my routine—all recommended by reliable sources as “effective bangs for the buck.”
A friend who obsessively researches everything told me about NourishMax, and I am a convert to their suite of natural, powerful, fairly priced products (relative to other popular anti-aging skincare lines, like Skinceuticals). I use all of these: Hylauronic Acid Serum, Vitamin C+B+E+Ferulic Serum, Hylauronic Moisturizer and their Lip Plumper. I love the lip plumper! It makes me feel sexy before I go out—I put it on first, let it soak in, then put on a lip color or gloss over it. I also love that NourishMax offers a buy-in-bulk option for even more savings.
I started using this tinted moisturizer everyday a few months ago because it covers so many bases—it has a very light tint to it, so it gives some coverage but it is natural looking. I use this for running to the grocery store and other errands when I don’t want to feel or look made up. It also has spf in it. Whenever I can combine three products in one, I’m pleased. I use a heavier moisturizer at night, and in the morning I use this as a quick and easy moisturizer-foundation-sunscreen blend. (If I’m going out to dinner or somewhere special, I use a regular foundation for more coverage.)
I have been using this product since it came out. I love that it stays on (because I play golf and tennis) and that I can use it on both my face and body. It feels light and goes on smoothly, leaving a nice glowy finish (with no white cast). This brand’s Glow Screen gets a lot of hype, but I don’t understand why—it is more expensive than the PLAY formula and doesn’t last as long. This one is the winner.
Three Things I'm Crushing On: From CRUSH Reader Mieke
Love this product/makeup, especially the Gucci line. The product is simple and cool, and the vital skin care complexion drops are the best overall coverage I have found to date. Items can be found at special shops or on line.
Mushroom teas, coffees and gummies.
All mushrooms are supercharged with healing and anti-oxidant and anti-cancer benefits. I eat them 2-3 times a week and love the textures. A large variety of shrooms besides the typical white and portabellas can be found at Whole Foods.
Vintage and second hand decor, especially furniture.
Charish used to be my fav site but their prices are comparable to new. Etsy remains second tier and 1st Dibs is on the higher end. However, in South Florida, there are many fun, local vendors with warehouses full of goodies from fabulous homes and decorators. Always negotiate! As they say “one man’s junk is…” and there are many treasures to be seen as one walks down tight lanes of stacked and packed furniture, paintings, and odd one-of-a-kind items. It’s all eye candy to me.
For Spring! Three Things I'm Crushing On: From CRUSH Reader Lydia*
Downy Wrinkle Releaser Spray. This is a miracle product. Don’t question it, just order it. Unless you like to iron (which, who does?). I wear a lot of linen and if you wear a lot of linen (and why wouldn’t you, with this product) then you’ll need this. You don’t have to iron - just spray and pull the fabric and the wrinkles relax instantly!
Mirth Bottoms/Pants. So comfortable and easy. As carefree as sweatpants, less ubiquitous than white jeans and just as stylish. I have them in white and oatmeal for summer! Black for fall!
Hourglass Ambient Lighting Palette.This is a MUST have. So natural. The perfect “no make-up/make-up.” It’s not cheap but it lasts forever.
Anything else you’d like to tell us?
I love all the recommendations from The Crush Letter - everything from what to read or watch, to how to let go of friends (The Friend Edit piece by Dish was sooooo helpful). Keep it coming.
Three Things I'm Crushing On: Jerry
- The new Weleda line of face creams. I have been a big fan of Weleda ever since I dated this one woman with beautiful skin and I just noticed in Whole Foods that they came out with a new line of “Skin Food” for the face. I went online and saw that there are all kinds of options, including for aging skin. I’m all in. I’m a guy who is somewhat vain but not fussy and I also like to avoid unnecessary chemicals. This does it. The Nourishing Day Cream is under $25 and a little goes a long way. I use the night cream too.
- The new knit, collared Criquet shirts in midnight blue.
Honestly, I don’t think you can do better for a casual date in a mild / warm weather climate than a sharp-looking, long-sleeve, collared knit shirt. It is relaxed but it says that effort was made. Guys, I get compliments on this shirt on every date. It’s very soft, too.
- I think Ria Eyewear is new, or at least to a lot of people I know are just discovering it.
They make high-definition sunglasses for sports - pickleball, which is what I play, as well as tennis and golf. Not cheap (just under $200) but worth every penny. Lightweight, durable and you see really well. I wear the navy versions because I don’t need to look like Darth Vader - I like to be approachable — and I think it’s a bit classier and sportier for summer sports than black.
Anything else you’d like to tell us?
I love The Crush Letter. Thanks, Dish!
Three Things I'm Crushing On: “Peter”
Hi, I’m writing from NYC, where I live in a very small apartment and by necessity am always searching for well-designed, no-fuss solutions to everyday life. Offered at a fair price. There’s nothing like nailing it when it comes to what you use daily. I wanted to share some things I use religiously in case it is useful to you (or the men in your life).
1. A Henson Razor. I was forced to use a regular store bought shaver recently and I can only say “Yeah, no.” If you haven’t heard of Hanson’s razors, let me try to persuade you to give them a try now. First off, they are precision-made from an aerospace company and give a closer, better shave that lasts longer. Secondly, they feel substantial and well-balanced in your hands. And finally, all-in they’re cheaper than alternatives. The razor itself lasts forever (I’ve had my steel blue Hanson’s for years), and the blades only cost like $10 for 100.
- Quip Water Flosser. Simply the easiest, most effective, most convenient way to floss your teeth. You can angle the tip to get everything everywhere. I do a lot of dating, and a clean mouth is everything. Plus, I travel a lot and take my quip flosser with me everywhere - it is battery run, so no cords or chargers. There are other good water flossers out there, but they are a lot larger. I don’t want a honkin’ large piece of dental equipment on my bathroom counter, or in my luggage. I’ve been traveling (and living) with mine for years. It’s tested, tried and true.
- HexMill Pepper Grinder. This was a gift from an ex, a really good one. (Gift, that is.) I cook something almost daily, and this extremely well-engineered pepper mill is the best I’ve used. Plus, it’s handsome and feels substantial in your hands. Well done, ex. This is the only solid, steady, drama-free thing you’ve ever done for me.
Three Things I'm Crushing On: Submission from CRUSH Reader Danielle
If you have a 20-something in your life (I have three) here are three books you should consider getting them. The first two fall in the category of “principles and ways of thinking to help set them up as productive and happy adults” and the last one is just a really good, timely novel about 20-somethings living very exciting lives in the big, bad world post-college (taking some hard knocks, scoring some wins, falling in love).
1. The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter And How to Make the Most of Them By Meg Jay ($16.71)
I should start by saying that this is like a bible in my home right now (we have three kids in their twenties). I wish I had read this when I was in mine, and I’m glad that I read it now in order to better understand my kids and their mindset. Jay is a clinical psychologist who shares insight into her conversations with 20-something’s. One point she makes over and over is that this generation is living with a “staggering, unprecedented amount of uncertainty.” Jay covers the areas of work, love, the brain and body and establishes ways to thinking through, making decisions and moving forward in each of these areas. One of my kids in particular can get overwhelmed, has anxiety, and this book has helped keep him steady. Another is soooo ambitious, a world beater, and this book has reminded her of the bigger picture. I can't emphasize how much it matters that some of this information comes from somebody other than me and their father ...
2. The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom By Don Miguel Ruiz ($7.74)
The four agreements themselves seem pretty obvious (the first being “Be impeccable with your word”), but having them laid out with powerful explanations and contextualization drives home their significance. Particularly, the downsides and implications for you of not adhering to the agreements. It’s a book about empowering yourself by reminding (and re-committing) yourself to a code of conduct that will serve you well as an adult. In our household we all know the four agreements and can refer to them as guideposts (even when we may sometimes fall short, we know what we are aiming for).
3. Tomorrow, Tomorrow, and Tomorrow By Gabrielle Zevin ($14.71)
It’s fabulous! A novel that follows the lives of three 20-something’s who are game designers just out of college. They go through the whole rollercoaster ride as they find success and confront failure in all the key areas covered by Meg Jay in The Defining Decade, including love (and friendship), work, physical and mental/emotional health. The book covers the importance of love and of play (yes, play!).
Three Things I'm Crushing On: Bob Guccione, Jr., Founder and Editor of WONDERLUST
1. Folktale Wines (Various prices)
I love wine. This does not make me unique, I understand that. And I know nothing about wine, which makes me, frankly, even less unique. But I know what I like and lately I’ve been loving the wines of Folktales Winery and Vineyards. (The name sounds redundant, right? But it accurately describes the boutique producer they are.) They have a small vineyard, from which they make a couple of wines, and the rest of their production is relatively tiny numbers of bottles from meticulously sourced small, nearby vineyards. They make about 24 different wines and I have had about [scrambled… static…inaudible] different bottles. I didn’t have a bad one. My favorites are: The 2019 Creator Pinot (outstanding!), NV Folktale Orange 3 Year and 2020 Folktale Carbonic Sangiovese.
Not really in stores, so order from here.
2. Inspector Montalbano novels ($25, give or take)
I voraciously read crime fiction, my escapism of choice from my everyday life, which involves reading and editing millions of words a year. I particularly adore/quasi worship the Inspector Montalbano series by Andrea Camilleri, who died in 2019, at the rich, life-lived age of 93. The books, all superb, are set in Sicily in a lazy — except for the murderers, they’re not lazy! — coastal region around the imaginary seaside town of Vigata. The mafia pervade like humidity, and control most of daily life just as invisibly. Montalbano, surrounded by a gloriously entertaining, mixed bag of officers, is a complicated, never fully resolved, often insecure, organic character, who solves crime in a particularly Sicilian way, which means some things are sometimes deliberately left unsettled, and some people spared an indignity that would serve no one.
Start with Rounding the Mark (because I did). Do not read the last book until the very end…
3. The Blue Fox Motel, Narrowsburg New York ($200 - $400 a night)
It’s not natural to want to go to a motel as much as I like going to this place. So I better explain: First, it’s not really a motel, it’s a chic, luxurious intimate hotel spread across a glorious hollow of land surrounded by huge, sky-poking forest, that was once a boy scout camp, then a hunting camp and finally a bog-average motel, curiously, and somehow legally, only for Russians. Present owners Jorge and Meg took it over a few years ago and started repairing the dilapidated property, and refitting rooms in exquisite and sometimes wonderfully quirky ways. It has a retro feel but a modern shine. At night you sleep the sleep of peace that Heaven promises. The restaurant is country casual and convivial and gastronomically superb.
3 Things I’m Crushing On: Dish Stanley, Master of Ceremonies, PrimeCrush
1.Nora Ephron’s Essay Collections, Bookshop.org, about $14.83 each
I Feel Bad About My Neck
I Remember Nothing: And Other Reflections
Wallflower at the Orgy
Last year it was Joan Didion’s essays. For over a month now it’s been Nora’s. Once you spend a month with Nora’s essays, you can’t call her anything but Nora. This is not true of Didion, by the way. After a month with her essays no one would presume to call her Joan. Nora, though, is a chatty essayist. For Nora the personal is political. When she writes that her tits are too small, she is making a larger statement about women’s place in society. Small tits are something I knew nothing about until reading Nora, but what’s typical of a “Nora experience” (how I’d characterize reading her essays), is that while I’m with her on the objectification point I am also somehow relieved that I don’t have small tits. I worry that I make her sound trite, but she’s not. She is true. And a hoot to spend time with. It’s too late to ever be invited to one of her fabulous dinner parties, but partaking in her essays is the next best thing. Written in the ‘70s, ‘80s and ‘90s, they are still spot on about midlife and many other matters, and are as relevant, funny, devastating and entertaining as ever. Though I do now hate my neck. I didn’t need that, Nora.
2. New Zealand, Direct flight JFK to Auckland $7,998 Business Class
Air New Zealand
New Zealand finally opened back up to the world in August, and shortly thereafter Air New Zealand launched the first-ever direct flights between New York and Auckland. It is a long 17 hour flight - I know because I spent the month of October there. Well worth it. New Zealand was perfect for me: naturally gorgeous, effortlessly charming, warm and inviting, bountifully loving. Another short-term soul-pumping fling. Take me, kiwis.
3. TOPIX. TOPIX. TOPIX
PrimeCrush.com, free!
Perhaps this sounds a little self-serving but I’m absolutely positively in love with our new TOPIX column. We’ve only just announced it but you can’t imagine the confessions I’m already hearing! Let me backtrack. TOPIX is a new column we’ll be publishing regularly in The Crush Letter to share anonymous stories about how we are really constructing our relationships in midlife now. Not Divorced But Not Really Married Either, Sleeping in Separate Wings, Platonic Friendships That Function Like (and Better Than) Marriages, Lifelong Romantic Partners Who Will Never Marry. “Just reading about what TOPIX will cover makes me feel validated,” wrote on CRUSH Reader. Oh, the places we’ll go!
Three Things I'm Crushing On: Liza Lentini, Managing Editor at SPIN.com
1.Prada Cashmere Sweater, $1,720.00
Prada.com
I’ve tried to analyze why I love these sweaters so much and, moreover, why I prefer the men’s sweaters to women’s, but really it all comes down to one factor: comfort. I’m very tall, so generally men’s sweaters tend to be longer and looser and more comfortable for me. I don’t need to tell you why cashmere is so luxurious, but I will say, sometimes you really do get what you pay for, and this sweater is worth every penny. Treat it right and you’ll have a classic style you can wear forever.
2.INFINITIPRO by Conair Hot Air Paddle Styler Dryer Brush, $19.99
Amazon.com
I have very fine hair, so when I finally found this under-twenty-dollar miracle cure for making my hair look like I stepped out of a salon, I pondered: “What the heck took me so long???” You don’t live to midlife without wasting way too much money on frustrating beauty fails, so when something actually works, it feels like a dream.
3.Revolution Pro Blur Stick Universal Face Primer, $15.00
Ulta.com
When it comes to makeup, I’m easily the laziest person you’ll ever meet. I rarely wear it at all. However, I can’t deny that I look so much less like a swamp creature with just a little bit of makeup on in virtual meetings. What I love most about a great face primer is that you can grab it five minutes before the meeting starts, smear it all over your face and you’re (sort of) meeting-ready. It’s not heavy and I still look like myself in natural light. I found this one after my Milk Blur Stick ran out—they’re both quite excellent.
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The Crush Letter
The Crush Letter is a weekly newsletter curated by Dish Stanley on everything love & connection - friendship, romance, self-love, sex. If you’d like to take a look at some of our best stories go to Read Us. Want the Dish?
