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Hello Crush,
Thanks for being here. We’ve got so much for you today, CRUSHes, so we’ll jump right in.
In This Letter. +Willing. By Lisa Ellex The Art of War: Diane and Quick Rick +The Ultimate Cover Up Guide for Men by Lauren D. Weinstein The desire to face the day feeling and looking your best is not gender specific. +Three Things We’re Crushing On Home Solutions +More DEVOUR {things to watch and listen to…} In response to last Saturday’s DEVOUR Letter, some readers wrote in with more things to devour … +Social Media I Loved This Week. +Our Song of the Week
Willing.“The Art of War: Diane and Quick Rick” by Lisa Ellex
Willing is our ongoing series about dating at this stage. It’s so complicated. We’ve got emotional scar tissue from umpteen years of living and loving and loss. We’ve got nerves. We’ve got the practical obstacles of baked-in structures and demands, familial and geographic. Too often, we just can’t break through. But then sometimes we do.
Diane is a 60-something-year old retired marketing analyst living with her husband in the northeast suburbs.
After the breakup of our 6-year live-in relationship, neither my ex nor I could afford the apartment we shared in the up-and-coming New Jersey neighborhood we loved so much. As if breakups weren't hard enough, we were both suddenly saddled with the daunting task of finding a new place to live. To add to our angst, we had to find a way to amicably divide between us the six years of furniture, kitchen items, books, bedding, and bric-a-brac that made our house a home.
My ex had an easier time finding a place, as he earned more money than I did. Just as I was beginning to lose hope, a couple of friends from the neighborhood knew of an apartment in their adjacent sister building. It was within my budget, kept me in the neighborhood, and was just a short commute to my job in Manhattan. Though the breakup was difficult, the move was easy and decorating a new place was a good distraction for me. As I was unpacking some things one night, I discovered that my ex’s copy of Sun Tzu’s The Art of War had somehow found its way into my box of books. I opened the book, gave it a good sniff (doesn’t everyone do that?) and, in my vulnerable state, began leafing through the pages when a particular sentence caught my eye: “Appear weak when you are strong, and strong when you are weak.” The timing was perfect.
To help me through the breakup, my friends next door would often have me over for dinner. That’s how I met Rick. Tall and blonde with model-like good looks of which he was very much aware, Rick had just moved down the hall from my friends. He was excessively flirty but that didn’t bother me; his lavish attention was the perfect bandaid for my breakup and a boost to my self esteem. We began dating so quickly that my friends would jokingly refer to him as “Quick Rick.” In what seemed like no time at all, we became exclusive and were together almost constantly; we cooked together, jogged together, he stayed over my place most nights, and we took long rides in his prized possession– a cherry red 1967 Mustang convertible. For a woman who recently had her heart broken, I seemed to be bouncing back.
Continue reading here
The Ultimate Cover Up Guide for Men by Lauren D. Weinstein
The desire to face the day feeling and looking your best is not gender specific. When it comes to obliterating those dreaded blue and purple undereye circles, rogue blemishes, acne scars, uneven skin tone and other multitude of sins, it’s perfectly acceptable for a man to reach for color correctors, concealers and tinted moisturizers to quickly tackle these pesky imperfections.
As the stigma around men’s use of skincare continues to dissolve, men can easily borrow these items from their female counterparts or purchase products that are specifically formulated for their naturally thicker, and due to testosterone, oilier skin.
Here are some simple tips and product options to help you get out of the door looking rested, snatched and ready for your closeup.
1.Prep your skin. Cleanse to remove sweat, oil and other impurities. Moisturize to soften, hydrate and protect from environmental irritants. Gently dab a pea size amount of eye cream or serum under the eye to moisturize, soothe, reduce puffiness and provide a smoother application of products.
Contains cica, microbiomes, spirulina.
Water-gel formula. Targets redness, lightweight, sheer, blurs imperfections. Available in 10 shades.
Has an applicator for depuffing, brightens with niacinamide, hydrates with hyaluronic acid and moringa seed oil.
Deflates bags with caffeine, soothes and brightens with niacinamide and anti-inflammatory lemon balm.
2. Color Correct. Color correctors visibly neutralize unwanted tones and come in a variety of shades from yellow, red, orange, blue, lavender and green. Knowledge of color theory would come in handy but don’t panic and trust the process. Opposite colors on the color wheel are called complimentary colors, when applied to the skin they help cancel out unwanted skin tones.
RED tones apply Green
BLUE tones apply Peach/Orange
PURPLE tones apply Yellow/Deep Gold for darker skin tones
SALLOW tones apply Lavender or Purple
Less is more. Apply a small amount of product either with your finger or with a concealer brush on the exact area that you want corrected. Gently dab and blend, and blend some more! Now you are ready to conceal.
3. Concealer. Choose a concealer in a formula of choice. (liquid, cream or stick) that matches your skin tone. Usually, a shade or two lighter for the under eyes. With your fingers, sponge or concealer brush, gently apply and blend to diffuse. Easy, right?
Color Correctors:
Concealers:
8 shades, discreet and sleek packaging, and travel friendly.
Stick formula, matte finish, and a diverse range of shades.
Full coverage, blurring, wears all day, 30 shades.
Self-care and taking pleasure in your appearance is healthy and a confidence booster. The next time you’re looking peaked and bleary-eyed or wake up to an angry pimple that suddenly showed up like an unwanted guest, you can take pride in knowing you have the skills and tools to send them packing.
Three Home Solutions We're Crushing On
In this series, readers like you share recommendations for the things they love the most, right at this moment.
From Nina. The absolute best-looking dog gate.
Which I need for my new pup! She says hello to Koko!
From Michelle. A Daybed from Headboards World.
A winner for the den/office/guest bedroom set-up. Check out this twin daybed that becomes a king bed for guests! I just ordered this to stay ahead of summer guest season. TBH, I don’t have this yet (but my friend Heather has a regular daybed from them that I’ve slept on, so I expect this to be terrific). Check them out on Instagram here now if you are looking at a summer of houseguests.
From Sandy. Wire Rack Cover from Etsy
OMG this has transformed my pantry! And at such a reasonable price.
Hey you, CRUSH, got something you’re crushing on? Let us know below.
More DEVOUR {things to watch and listen to…}
So. Some Readers Wrote In After We Published Last Week’s DEVOUR
In our periodic DEVOUR column we share all the things we think you should eat up.
Thank you to the CRUSH Readers who sent in DEVOUR recommendations. If you've devoured something you loved, please let us know here!
From Louise. Watch. Am I Being Unreasonable, Seasons 1 and 2. (Hulu, Prime, Others)
I don’t think anyone has mentioned this series yet, now on Season 2. It is hysterical, and it’s also a thriller. It is a British whack job, really, of the best possible kind. It centers around Nic, a lonely Mum in an unhappy marriage who is looking for fun. (Or trouble?) When a new mum moves into the neighborhood she might have found what she is looking for. Fun. (Or trouble?) Except there are a lot of secrets and surprises. That’s where the thriller part comes in. Above all, it’s funny!
From Peter. Read. Chokepoints by Edward Fishman
I know you’re into geopolitics, Dish, so I wanted to make sure that this was on your radar. This is a recently published book about the most important mechanism for deploying geopolitics strategy today: economic firepower. Written by a guy who has held senior positions at the State Department and Treasury, it is an utterly compelling update on how warfare works in today’s world, with examples from the United States’ use of it with China, Russia and Iran.
From MAS. Listen. JFK Jr. An Intimate Oral Biography (Audible)
This audible book opens us up to what it felt like to be JFK Jr. — to be born in the spotlight, to have others create a myth of your life, to have Jackie O as your Mother, to be beloved, yet experience so much family tragedy. I can’t stop listening to it — it is so much more than what you think it’s going to be — it is not just the arc of his life, punctuated by coordinates and anecdotes — it is much more intense and much more of a dive into who he was. Eye-opening and moving.
From Adam. Watch. Adolescence (Netflix)
You’ve no doubt heard about this by now, but I’m here to say that whatever you’ve decided to do, it’s a must watch. It’s an exceptionally informed, carefully drawn look at how a boy who grew up in a dedicated, loving (nonviolent) family can end up where this kid did. Under the observant eyes of involved parents. I’ve read the writer spent a lot of time reading the studies of therapists who work with violent kids and I believe it. Adolescence asks the question “do you ever really know what hell your teenage kids are going through?”
Social Media I Loved This Week
Song of the Week
Spring Playlist from House of Hackney.
House of Hackney is an eclectic British furniture & decor line that leans on the traditional in an amusing way. Sort of like the playlist they just dropped The Spell of Spring. It’s an inspired mix, including:
Spring Affair - Donna Summer
Here Comes the Sun - The Beatles
Les Fleurs - Minnie Riperton
Just Like Honey - The Jesus and Mary Chain
Dreaming - Blondie
Cherry Blossom Girl - Air
Early Morning Breeze - Dolly Parton
Have an absolutely wonderful week, CRUSHes.
XO,
Dish
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The Crush Letter is a weekly newsletter from Dish Stanley curating articles & intelligence on everything love & connection - friendship, romance, self-love, sex. If you’d like to take a look at some of our best stories go to Read Us. Want the Dish?
