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Hello Crush,
I hope all my CRUSHes had a wonderful Valentine’s Day — but if I had to guess from your notes, you were probably wondering what Koko was up to.
Well. While I was working away I suddenly became alarmed by the silence. The lack of ever present background noise generated by chewing on squeaky toys, books, or the leg of my favorite Eames chair. When I looked around the constant-low-hum-of-noise culprit was nowhere to be found. When I called “Koko!” no floppy ears came running.
After searching (and searching) through each room of the house, I made sure the front door hadn’t been left open. It hadn’t. Then: “Oh no! Did I leave her outside in the yard accidentally, where she no doubt died from one of Southern Florida’s infamous dog-killing bufo frogs?“ (They’re a serious thing. A neighbor with a puppy just found one in her yard and my whole dog-loving neighborhood is talking about nothing but that bufo frog.)
I went out to check but there were no dog carcasses in the yard. Not Koko’s, not any of my neighbors’ dogs, either. Thank god.
At a loss, I went back inside and double-checked all the rooms. Then I noticed my bedroom closet door was open just a crack. Hmmmmm. When I pushed it back, there she was.
She had nestled herself in between my collection of silk scarves and linen shirts. What was she sitting on top of? A fabric box.
That fabric box, dear CRUSH Readers, is where I keep my fancy unmentionables. The particularly, ummmm, nice but naughty ones—- the date night ones — the Agent Provocateur corsets, the Kiki de Montparnasse bustiers, the Fleur du Mal animal print teddy. Of all places for her to nestle into.
She’s her Mother’s daughter that’s for sure. Champagne taste, our Koko.
We’ve got another TOPIX! Nobody just calls each other up any more. Longtime CRUSH Reader Nina Ross has thoughts on that. Thank you, Nina for sharing them with us!
In This Letter. +Giveaway: A Brand New Vibrating Couples Ring That Hasn’t Hit the Market Yet. HUG, By Dame Products +TOPIX: Where Did The Telephone Go? By Nina Ross +Three Skincare Items CRUSH Reader Sarah is Crushing On. +dishing. +Social Media I Loved This Week. +Our Song of the Week
Giveaway: A Brand New Vibrating Couples Ring That Hasn’t Hit the Market Yet. HUG, By Dame Products
“Hug. Making dicks better.”
Dame is about to release their first toy for men — well, it’s for heterosexual couples, really. It’s called Hug and it’s a vibrating cock ring.
You may recall that Dame is the sex toy company that brought us Aer, one of the first suction vibrators on the market. We wrote about it when it came out, and it has been tested (and loved) by many CRUSH Readers. Last year Wirecutter named Aer “Best for suction and vibration,” and not only were we not surprised by that, but we’re also pretty proud about be out front on immediately calling out the Aer to CRUSH Readers. Which is why we have stayed on top of additional sex toy developments from Dame.
But first off, what’s so great about cock rings? A lot of men find that cock rings feel really good. They also help keep erections stronger for longer. (And, they’re a non-pharmaceutical way to help with ED.)
What’s the vibrating part? The Hug has a vibrating mechanism designed to stimulate the clitoris (and elsewhere).
Not unimportantly, when our CRUSH Sex Toy Testers have reported back on their favorite sex toy, it’s been a vibrating cock ring. The one we sent our toy testers to try (that they unanimously loved) was the Tenga SVR. That’s why Dish was so eager to get her hands on this cock ring by Dame — for one lucky CRUSH couple to try. Around here, we like cock rings and we want only the best.
Hug hasn’t even been released to the market yet.
How did we get this Hug to try? Dish — who attempts to stay on top of all the major thrusts in the sex toy market (for you, of course, dear CRUSH Readers) — backed Dame’s Indiegogo campaign. By backing Dame’s design, test and launch of their new product, she got pre-market delivery of one of their first Hugs.
Here’s the box one lucky CRUSH couple will get, and what the Hug looks like:
Here’s a short video from Dame explaining Hug’s design and use.
So, as I said, one lucky CRUSH couple can try it out. There’s a catch, of course. In order for Dish to send you the one and only Hug she has to give out, you have to promise to review it and thoroughly report back (anonymously, of course!) within the next two weeks. (For a great example on just such a sex toy product report — from CRUSH Reader Susie — scroll down. Hers was comparing the vibrator that Wirecutter named ”the best vibrator” with others, and a comparison won’t be necessary here, but just your thoughts on other aspects of the Hug: ease of use, comfort, efficacy, etc.)
Do you want to be the couple who tries Hug? I’ll send it to the first CRUSH Reader to write to me at Dish@PrimeCrush.com. Please send me a short note (for anonymous publication) telling me what you like best The CRUSH Letter (as well as your address). Please promise to send me your review within two weeks of receiving your Hug, so the rest of us will know whether we might want to rush out to buy this new product. In the subject line please write HUG so I don’t miss it.
I don’t know about you, CRUSHES, but I can’t wait.
Midlife has always been that point when we begin to realize that life is getting short. Too short to worry about what other people think. A turning point where people begin to craft the kind of friendships and romantic relationships that actually work for them, inside the lines (or out). TOPIX is our way of getting opinionated, courageous conversations started on what living and loving really looks like in midlife now.
TOPIX: Just Freakin’ Call Me Already. By Nina Ross
A CRUSH Reader contemplates what we’ve gained and what we’ve lost by giving up the impromptu telephone call.
Where did the telephone go?
Remember the days before answering machines and caller id when the phone would ring. Who were they calling for? Was it a person trying to sell you something, or the guy who sat behind you in 8th grade algebra who you've been dreaming about? If it is, what will you say?
It never occurred to us not to answer the phone just because we didn't know who it would be. If we did, we could lose that point of connection forever. Without a trace. So we answered it with a hello, not knowing who it would be, what they might want or how it would make us feel.
Where did that go? Now we text before we call or maybe we don't call at all, only text. We pre-announce ourselves, "Is it ok if I call? Are you free?" We act as if we don't have license to just reach out and say, aloud, "I'm thinking of you." Or, "Hey, I'd really like to talk." That feeling of the phone ringing, and it could be anyone....is lost.
So, what did we lose? Some might say it's what we gained — control over who we speak to, the ability to screen out solicitations or a relationship we need some space from. It's not that I don't agree there are some benefits to being able to know in advance who is calling, but we have lost far more. We've lost that excitement that comes from the ring of the phone when you know someone is thinking of you, but you don't know who it is. That feeling you get right after you say "Hello," — the possibilities of who it could be and where it will take you. It could literally be anyone.
We've also lost the resilience that comes from mustering the courage to call someone out of the blue, not knowing how they'll respond. Does that guy from your algebra class really want to talk to you or is he just being polite? How long will he stay on the phone? How do you get his number? And when you are rejected — someone refuses to come to the phone, you can hear them as they ask their mom to say they are not there — how do you handle that? While never easy, handling rejection does get better with practice and the phone was a great place to work on that skill.
And are we staying closer to those we already love — or further apart — by engaging in the act of asking (by text) whether we can call? Or by texting instead of calling? Isn’t staying close to those we love the point of it all?
All of this is to say, can we get the phone back? Can we all just call each other when we are thinking of one another? Can we get off the keyboard at least for a little while?
I'm going to ask my friends to call me when they want to connect. The worst that can happen is that I'm not able to pick up. But think of all of the warm wonderful messages I might get from living breathing people rather than a scramble of letters on a screen. Maybe this will make me feel more connected, because right now, I really miss the telephone.
Thank you, Nina! Got a TOPIX to write about? Send it to me at Dish@PrimeCrush.com.
Three Skincare Items CRUSH Reader Sarah is Crushing On
”I love reading about the various products that other CRUSH Readers send in, so I thought I should contribute, too. I’m big on trying skincare products and here’s what I’m using now. — Sarah”
I have been loving Pai oils — Rosehip, Carbon Star, and Viper’s Gloss
CosRx snail mucin Maybe it’s just nerdy cool that it’s “snail mucin?” Anyway, it’s magic.
SkinCeuticals Triple Lipid (and everything else they make!)
dishing.
Things I thought you might want to know about, and some you probably don’t.
I have used a matchmaker, so I have lots of thoughts on the piece that dropped yesterday in The Cut on matchmakers to the ultra wealthy. I’ll share more on the benefits of working with a matchmaker and whether it’s really worth it in an upcoming Letter, but in the meantime, I’m all in for this glimpse into how it’s done for the billionaire class.
Speaking of dating, as I told you earlier this month, I had a lovely conversation with Michele Lamoureux on dating and relationships in midlife for an upcoming episode of her podcast The Good Life. Michele told me that that episode might air as early as this week, so subscribe to The Good Life if you want to hear it as soon as it drops. And fingers crossed that I come off sounding good. I’m a little nervous about it.
Oh, and what are you doing Sunday night? I’ll be watching Season 3 of The White Lotus on Max. Thailand, poking fun at wellness culture and luxury tourism and three longterm friends on a girls’ trip? That’s a seething cauldron I can’t miss.
Another thing I’ll be doing this week end? Watching the third (and, we hope, final) drop in the Bridget Jones series (on Peacock). How can I not? I mean it is — I gather from the trailer and various general humming — that it is a “middle-aged woman getting her groove back after serious loss” story (right up my alley, CRUSHes!). And, Hugh Grant and Emma Thompson are back. I love them. I’ll report back!
Social Media I Loved This Week
I can’t get enough of Leanne Morgan’s brand of comedy lately, but this spiel on what your husband really wants for Valentine’s Day is too funny.
Song of the Week
Love By The Something Specials & Taylor Odin
“You know we’ll get by on love.”
A friend of a friend sent this song around to a friend group by text yesterday (on Valentine’s Day). It’s the first time I’d heard the song, or heard of The Something Specials, and since it is lovely and upbeat and so on point, I immediately swapped it out for what I was going to run.
If you like it you’ll want to know about the band. I did a bit of research. Taylor Odin, the band’s founder, is a Florida native and formerly fronted the Dust Fuss. She recently left Florida to make her mark from Southern California. Here’s what the Jacksonville Music Experience wrote about Olin’s new song:
“Love evokes the aftermath and clearing haze of SoCal rock deities Fleetwood Mac, after surviving their late ‘70s radio-hit pantheism. Over an unhurried strumming chord progression, mottled with a tasty plaintive riff courtesy of Nathan Sloan, Olin and Josh Austin share the narrative about getting “by on love.” More of an ode to being conquered and humbled by love than a testament to any relationship praise or woes … “
I hope your week is full of all the people and things you love, CRUSHes.
XO,
Dish
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The Crush Letter
The Crush Letter is a weekly newsletter from Dish Stanley curating articles & intelligence on everything love & connection - friendship, romance, self-love, sex. If you’d like to take a look at some of our best stories go to Read Us. Want the Dish?
