The Crush Letter No 179: DEVOUR, Nonfiction Picks, Dear Dish

. 10 min read

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Hello Crush,

It’s been a rough week, following an unsettling summer. My Mother had a stroke (it was mild, she’s at home healing now), my dog died. I could go on.

The silver lining has been — as it is so often — friends. The friends that simply check in to say they’re thinking of me, the friends able to offer a home-cooked meal, a bed or a laugh over a cocktail. Thank god for my friends.

And for Nobody Wants This. It was the romcom I needed over the last 10 days. Have you watched it yet? A friend told me she thought it was better than When Harry Met Sally. I wouldn’t go that far myself, but I understood the point. It is just so fun to watch. Don’t we all need that right now?

This week we are sharing some other suggestions we think you might want to devour, thanks to Contributing Editor Lisa Ellex.

Enjoy!



In This Letter. +DEVOUR: things to watch, read and listen to. +Dish’s Fall & Winter Reading List: Nonfiction. I absolutely love this list. +Dear Dish. I am watching The Golden Bachelorette. +Social Media I Loved This Week. +Our Song of the Week He’s a walking contradiction

DEVOUR {things to watch, read, and listen to}

In our monthly DEVOUR column we share all the things we think you should eat up.

Book Linked Here

Read. You Are Not Broken: Stop Should-Ing All Over Your Sex Life by Kelly Casperson

I sat across from Kelly Casperson last year over dinner, after attending The New Pause Symposium (on menopause). I wrote about that in PrimeCrush Hotflash: The 5 Things You Need to Know About Menopause. A perfect dinner companion, she layered funny, thoughtful and girl-next-door chatter in with her very serious understanding of women’s health issues at this stage. Casperson is on a mission — with her podcast You Are Not Broken, and now her book of the same name — to provide research-backed, up-to-date, much-needed information to women in the areas we need it most. You Are Not Broken has the same approachable, empathetic tone she had in person over dinner, even though her medical chops on understanding our health issues are unimpeachable.

In You Are Not Broken Casperson continues to debunk myths, challenge the social norms we grew up with, while giving usable advice on how to approach everything from “The Chemistry of Pleasure” to how desire works to the head-body connection with sex. I consider every word in the book “must know.” But I’ll also say this: as a woman who has been out dating in midlife+, I also gobbled up the chapter on men and how “they get the shaft” as well from our social programming. Her advice around how to handle potential situations of erectile dysfunction (p. 77 in the paperback edition) will no doubt come in handy.


WatchFaye. The Many Lives of Faye Dunaway (HBO Max)

She was the “It Girl” of 1970s cinema. Now she is the subject of the HBO original documentary, Faye. The Many Lives of Faye Dunaway. From Bonnie and Clyde to Chinatown to her Academy Awarding winning performance in Network, actress Faye Dunaway’s on-screen characters are unforgettable. Even her 1981 portrayal of Joan Crawford in Mommy Dearest – a role she claims to regret – stays with you.  The documentary delves into her childhood, family life, academia, her road to Broadway,  meteoric film career, and  her lifelong struggles with mental health. Don’t miss this piece on the last of the true movie stars, directed and produced by Laurent Bouzereau.


WatchElizabeth Taylor: The Lost Tapes (HBO Max)

A National Treasure. Veteran documentarian Nan Burnstein delivers her latest gem on the life and career of actress, activist, and screen legend, Elizabeth Taylor. In this HBO documentary Elizabeth Taylor: The Lost Tapes, Burstein brilliantly utilizes the audio from countless hours of newly discovered tape recorded interviews, allowing the audience to feel as if they’re eavesdropping on some very private conversations..  Beginning with Taylor’s burning childhood desire to be in the movies and landing her dream role in National Velvet, the story chronicles her sensational journey from childhood, teenage, and ingenue roles to her transition into leading lady and Hollywood superstar.  Of course, her story would not be complete without covering her 8 marriages to 7 men (she married Cleopatra co-star Richard Burton twice!) as well as her friendships to Montgomery Cliff, James Dean, and Rock Hudson, so poignantly recounted here by Burnstein. A fascinating glimpse into legacy of the actress some call “the most beautiful woman in the world.”


WatchWISE GUY David Chase and The Sopranos (HBO Max)

Holy Gabagool! For 6 seasons, fans of The Sopranos watched the therapy sessions between Dr. Jennifer Melfi (Lorraine Bracco) and her mob boss patient Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini).  Now, sixteen years after the series end, OG viewers – as well as a new generation of The Sopranos fans – can watch writer, creator, director, David Chase in the hot seat as he’s interviewed on the set of Dr. Melfi in this long-awaited two-part documentary, Wise Guy (editing alone took two years to complete!). Chase candidly talks about the relationship between he and his abusive mother and how she served as the model for Livia Soprano, his early aspirations to be an art house film director, his slow rise in Hollywood, and how HBO made the series that no one else would touch. With behind-the-scenes footage and interviews with many of the series characters, this is a must for anyone who’s ever enjoyed the series.


Listen. Wiser Than Me (Apple Podcasts)

Talkin’ Bout A Revolution. Now in its second season, Julia Louis Dreyfus’ podcast, Wiser Than Me, remains one of the smartest podcasts in the market. Dreyfus has a talent (as if she needed yet another) for beautifully writing her own anecdotal prologue to each episode and then evoking the most interesting interviews from her revered guests.  In this episode, Dreyfus talks with 90-year-old, author, activist, and founder of the feminist movement, Gloria Steinem, on starting the revolution that changed the lives of so many women.  

Added bonus: Julia’s mom joins the podcast and reveals her own early ambitions.

Julia Gets Wise with Gloria Steinem | Lemonada Media
In this episode of Wiser Than Me, Julia sits down with 90-year-old author and revolutionary Gloria Steinem. The two delve into Gloria’s remarkable journey as a pioneering feminist and discuss joining the army of gray-haired women who will take over the world. Gloria also gives Julia THE most incredible advice for aging without shame. Plus, Julia’s mom, Judy, recounts her early ambitions in acting and her initial reservations about working outside the home.

Listen. Where Should We Begin

Hunka, hunka, burnin’ love. Nobody gets down and dirty like psychotherapist and sex and relationship expert Esther Perel in her podcast Where Should We Begin.  In her latest episode, Perel may very have met her match as she talks with writer/filmmaker/artist Miranda July on “The Rebirth of Desire”.  And who better to discuss the subject of desire with than July, the author of the sensational novel, All Fours. Together, they explore eroticism and question the relationship between love and desire in modern relationships.

Say More - Miranda July and Esther Perel on The Rebirth of Desire
This week, Esther is in a borrowed bedroom in Los Angeles, the perfect place to talk about desire and the novel on every bedside table, All Fours. The writer, d

Listen/Read. Sphen and Magic

Love You Like A Love Song. When the staff at the Sealife Sydney Aquarium noticed a same-sex partnership formed between Sphen and Magic, two male penguins, they presented the couple with an “egg” (a rock, really) to look after. In time, the couple “adopted” two penguin chicks of their own, and the monogamous union lasted 6 years, until the death of Sphen.  Upon viewing Sphen’s body, Magic began singing and was joining by a choir of fellow penguins.  You can listen to their story here but first grab some tissues.

Non-Fiction: What’s on Dish’s Nightstand

(Pssst, you can get them in the PrimeCrush Bookshop)

These are the non-fiction books I’ve already bought, or pre-ordered, for my Fall and Winter reading. I’m so excited about this reading list. In the previous 2 letters, I've shared my historical fiction and my fall fiction reads.

Non-Fiction

The Demon of Unrest by Erik Larson

A big fan of Erik Larson, his latest dives into the five month period between the election of Abraham Lincoln and the start of the Civil War.

On the Edge by Nate Silver

I’m always curious about how to make decisions around risk, and how to take more risks in an intelligent, considered way.

Strong Passions: A Scandalous Divorce in Old New York by Barbara Weisberg

Be Ready When the Luck Happens: A Memoir by Ina Garten

I have most of her cookbooks - the recipes are tried and true. But I’ll be picking up this memoir to learn about her life and marriage, which — like a soufflé — has had its share of rising and falling, and rising again.

Want: Sexual Fantasies by Anonymous by Gillian Anderson

Because I might get some good ideas?

A place for all of our "letters to the editor"

Dear Dish...

 Madame Dish-a-Lish,

I am watching The Golden Bachelorette, one because I love this show forever, and two I was curious about what kind of men would appear. I love what you wrote, and completely agree about this season and Joan. Your words were thoughtful and kind regarding one’s personal path of aging. Far be it from one to judge.

I think they make Joan look “a bit too much “housewives of someplace,” but in the end I like her, her personality, her sense of fun, authentic way and sensitivity towards others. I like to imagine myself on the show and how I would respond, whom I am attracted to and the makeover they might give me.

In the end it must be quite a mind-bending and life changing experience and that is what attracts me. Go Joan, go Joan,  go Joan!!!

Warmly,
M.

Social Media I Loved This Week


@mignonettetakespictures


@kristinscottthomas


@kingsqueensofcool

Song of the Week

The Pilgrim by Kris Kristofferson

R.I.P. to an original.

He’s a poet he’s a picker he’s a prophet he’s a pusher

He’s a pilgrim and a preacher and a problem when he’s stoned.”

Watch his live performance on PBS here

Have a wonderful week, CRUSHes.

Dish Stanley XO,
Dish

The Swell’s Sex Symposium
Dish recently attended The Sexual Wellness Symposium in New York City hosted by The Swell*, Dr. Emily Morse and Dr. Kelly Casperson. The day provided an abundance of information on all aspects of sexual health and wellness. The day was primarily for women “of menopausal age” and, as with menopause
What I Added to Up Next: What’s on Dish’s Nightstand in the PrimeCrush Bookshop.
What I Added to Up Next: What’s on Dish’s Nightstand in the PrimeCrush Bookshop. Based on a combination of recommendations over the holidays from friends and family who are “great readers,” as well as reviewers I admire, I’ve added these books to my reading stack, as well
Thinning Hair. First I Freaked Out, Then I Did These Things That Work. By Dish Stanley
A few months ago, which was a few months shy of me turning 60, I noticed a lot of hair coming out in the shower and when I brushed it. And not just for a couple of days, but for a couple of months. I had my annual physical around
DEVOUR {things to watch, read, and listen to}
In our monthly DEVOUR column we share all the things we think you should eat up. Read. People Not to Fall in Love With People Not to Fall in Love With - The School of LifeWe publish articles around emotional education: calm, fulfilment, perspective and self-awareness. | People Not to Fall

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The Crush Letter
The Crush Letter is a weekly newsletter from Dish Stanley curating articles & intelligence on everything love & connection - friendship, romance, self-love, sex. If you’d like to take a look at some of our best stories go to Read Us. Want the Dish?


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