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Hello Crush,
This shot “Wet Dawg Walk A Thursday in Fucking August” is from one of my most amusing follows @jenyhoworth. She’s walking her dawg in Wales (I believe), but those of us walking our dogs along the mid-atlantic and eastern states where Storm Debby is mucking things up can relate:
@JenyHowarth is a former high fashion model who is “sometimes still a model,” in particular, for one of my favorite brands Marfa Stance. As you can see from the above and below photos, she has a devil-may-care, I-don’t-give-a-fuck-about-the-whole-aging-thing attitude. She is not precious—is this rare for a former big-time model? it seems so —and just wants to go on living a big, fuckin’ fun, glorious life. Preferably without a lot of wankers around her.
She sells her ‘fragile heart’ t-shirts, which she makes herself. I, of course, ordered one. Because I — like everybody else with a beating heart — have a fragile one. Meaning, like everybody else’s, it gets hurt. I thought it good to remind myself of this basic human condition. (And I love Jeny.)
In fact, I was recently telling a friend that I have developed a bit of a mantra going into dates, which is to say to myself, “Remember, he has a fragile heart.” This is whether I know the guy or not. It’s just based on knowing that at this stage we’ve all had our heart broken. And it’s also based on knowing that it can be even harder to see that with people who come across as competent, confident, self-aware. Even if they’re a bit blustery. Maybe particularly if they’re a bit blustery, actually.
People are nervous on dates so you can’t always see this, but trust me, they’re not dating at this stage if their heart hasn’t been broken somehow. More than anything, it’s a reminder to be gentle and kind.
Not a wanker.
In This Letter. +DEVOUR things to watch, read & listen to +Social Media I Loved This Week. +Our Song of the Week
DEVOUR {things to watch, read & listen to}
In our monthly DEVOUR column, we share all the things we think you should eat up.
Read. People Not to Fall in Love With
“It may sound ungenerous to throw the emphasis on the negative but we can fairly say that people who are good at love know – first and foremost – who not to fall in love with.”
A CRUSH Reader sent me this article, and it’s a very, very good list. One worth remembering—in the realms of both romantic and platonic love—since both friends and lovers have the potential to break your heart. Here’s a good one to be on the look-out for, for instance:
— People who claim desperately to want a relationship [friend or romantic] — but are inwardly so committed to distrust, isolation and self-hatred that they are in no position to really have one — yet don’t know this of themselves.
Here’s another two:
— People who are furious with a parent and don’t realize they are.
— People who are far too in pain to know how to want the best for you.
You get the picture.
Read. The Friday Afternoon Club: A Family Memoir
This is a dysfunctional family story like no other, told in an affable, undramatic, straightforward “so this is how the whole thing unfolded” manner. Written (and narrated by, if you prefer the audible version) by Griffin Dunne, son of the Hollywood producer-turned writer-turned reporter Dominick Dunne and the nephew of Joan Didion, it’s a rambling, often shocking always entertaining story of life in and around a lot of very real, tragic and very human bold-faced names.
Watch. Wicked Little Letters (Netflix)
Olivia Coleman strikes again in this psychological suspense story that’s also quite funny. It’s a small, weird little story based on a true one about how Edith Swan, a spinster in a small English town in the 1920’s, received a series of sexually explicit, obscene letters. She sent small town detectives out on a search for the author, who immediately and exclusively focus on a single mother who recently landed in town from Ireland.
Listen. Petty Country (A Country Music Celebration of Tom Petty)
Petty Country is a high-profile collection of country music stars paying tribute to Petty, including Dolly Parton, Willie Nelson, George Strait and Chris Stapleton. As CRUSH Readers know, Stapleton is a favorite of mine, and so perhaps it won’t surprise you to read that—though the compilation is a deserving, faithful, earnest tribute to the great Petty — Stapleton’s opener of ‘I Should Have Known It’ is the show stopper.
It’s from Petty’s MOJO album, which I loved but wasn’t considered one of Petty’s best. Stapleton’s version of ‘Should Have Known’ is (in pitch Stapleton form) searing, tight and more of a juggernaut than the original. As Hal Horowitz writes in Rock and Blues Muse “Stapleton charges into it with a pummeling dose of guitar heavy, swampy intensity. You can practically see fists punching the studio air as he delivers a knockout blow in just under four minutes.”
If you’re a Steve Earle fan, his version of ‘Yer So Bad’ is so recognizably Earle, in all the best ways. Angel Dream (No. 2) by Willie Nelson and Lukas Nelson is lovely. It’s Petty’s version of a “thank god I found you” love letter and it’s always been a favorite. This version is tender and touching. Lovely.
Watch. Heidi Fleiss: The Would-be Madam of Crystal (Max)
What happens in Vegas… Back in the naughty 90s, the 25-year-old daughter of a pediatrician and an elementary school teacher came to national attention for procuring women (and drugs) for wealthy, high profile men. Known as “The Hollywood Madam,'' Heidi Fleiss was arrested, convicted, and had her sentence overturned. Four months later she was convicted on charges of tax evasion and was sentenced to 7 years. After serving 20 months, she was released to community service. She resurfaced throughout the years in reality shows and, not surprisingly, in an instructional DVD entitled, Sex Tips with Heidi Fleiss and Victoria Sellers. In this MAX documentary, Fleiss is at it again. This time, she moves to Pahrump, Nevada to open “Heidi Fleiss’s Stud Farm,” the first legal brothel in the United States intended to service women only. Despite her drug addiction, her strange involvement with exotic birds, and a town full of people who try to foil her business, can Fleiss sell sex again?
And in case you were wondering about that DVD, you can get it on Amazon here.
Watch. Stevie Van Zandt: Disciple (MAX)
I Know, It’s Only Rock and Roll but… From his days in early rock n’ roll to his years as a sought-after record producer, sideman with E Street Band, front man for Little Steven and the Disciples of Soul, accomplishments as an activist, consigliere to Tony Soprano, television phenom, radio pioneer, and educator and founder of TeachRock, Stevie Van Zandt has done it all. In this HBO documentary, Stevie Van
Zandt’s magnificent journey is unfolded through interviews with music greats such as Bruce Springsteen, Paul McCartney, Bill Wyman, Southside Johnny Lyon, Gary U.S. Bonds, and many more and we follow him from his beginnings at the Jersey shore to his victory in abolishing Apartheid in South Africa.
Watch. The Bear (Hulu)
“Yes, Chef!” The long-awaited arrival of the very tense 10-episodes of Season 3 is here and — much like waiting for a table at Carbone — it was worth the wait. Did Carmy get out of the walk-in box? Did Sugar have her baby? And what is happening to Donna? For the answers, you’ll just have to tune-in yourself but I will say that the episodes revealing some of the character’s back stories are particularly enthralling and beautifully executed. Do keep an eye out for real-life chef Daniel
Boulud and everyone’s favorite Queen, Olivia Coleman. Here’s hoping an Emmy is on the menu for Jamie Lee Curtis.
Watch. Stop Making Sense, 1984 (MAX)
Same As It Ever Was… 40 years after its 1984 theatrical release, director Jonathan Demme’s documentation of the Talking Heads’ 1983 concert is still being called the greatest concert film of all time. Shot over 4 nights at Hollywood’s Pantages Theatre during the Talking Heads tour, the film captures a brilliant moment in time for the band and their fans. Seeing Byrne’s signature big suit, hearing the cassette player oozing “Psycho Killer,” and a memorable set list including Burning Down the House and Once in a Lifetime instantly puts us back in the arms of the 80s. The re-release of the film has been restored in 4k, making the now cult classic more eye-popping than ever.
For more of the genius of David Byrne…
Read. How Music Works
Byrne’s 2017 book on the many ways in which music “shapes the
human experience… and the redemptive liberation that music brings us all.”
Read. I’m Still Here: A Dog’s Purpose Forever Written by Cathryn Michon. Illustrated by Seth Taylor.
A Dog’s (after) Life. Dog lovers the world over cheered when Spain joined France, Germany, Austria, and Portugal in declaring domestic animals as “living beings” under the law and “should be considered in the same way as children in divorce hearings or when inheritance or debts cases are brought to court.” But pet owners didn’t need the law to tell them what they already felt in their hearts. From the co-writer of the film A Dog’s Purpose, this touching tale of I’m Still Here is told from a deceased dog’s perspective, assuring those he left behind that they will indeed be reunited one day. Beautifully illustrated with soft watercolor paintings, it’s the ideal read for pet owners who grieve their beloved beast. Though it’s scheduled for a September 10, 2024 publishing date, you can pre-order on Amazon now.
Read. The Work of Art: How Something Comes From Nothing by Adam Moss
A Beautiful Mind. Ever wonder why some people can make art and others can’t? Just what is it that makes an artist? In The Work of Art, author, artist, and journalist Adam Moss talks to creatives about their process about everything from “the wandering and the hyper-focus” to notions that creativity comes from God, the subconscious, and everywhere in between. Says Moss in an interview with NPR’s Ari Shapiro, “It’s the thing you don’t understand…there’s an acceptance that you have to come to as an artist.” Do artists self-sabotage? Moss believes that “sometimes the mind is trying to prevent the artist from making the thing; the mind takes over and tries to disturb the thing. It’s trying to protect the artist– perhaps from the pain of getting in touch with something raw and kind of
difficult.” A fascinating read on the creative mind.
Listen. "What will marriage look like in the future?"
With polyamory on the rise, are we seeing an end to traditional unions? Despite a record number of sales at wedding venues, will conventional marriage soon be a thing of the past as younger generations redefine relationships? Hear NPR’s Michel Martin’s interview with futurist Jake Dunagan on how people are coupling today.
Book Review: All Fours by Miranda July. Reviewed by Lisa Ellex
"To quench that thirst she drives, soon finding a motel room where the reader becomes a peeping Tom, perversely observing sacred moments through a keyhole."
A well-planned cross-country drive, the trauma of childbirth, the torture of secret desire, the struggle of monogamy, the ebb and flow of creativity, an alternative lifestyle, art, life, suicide, a breathless baby, deception, dance, FBI, PTSD, IG, intrigue, longing, an Asian sleuth, passion, purpose, friendship, lesbians, a neglected dog, the threshold of menopause, role-playing, rejection, shame, interior design, tonka bean soap, infidelity, kundalini, fame, a husband‘s girlfriend, a giant spoon, work, separate bedrooms, seedy motel rooms, a reservation at The Carlyle, a father lost in the “death field”, a room of one’s own, celebrity, and so much more.
No, this is not a fever dream but just some of the elements of writer/filmmaker/performance artist Miranda July’s second novel, All Fours, a brave and often painful hero’s journey to find their true self in midlife. When the nameless protagonist – a successful artist, modern wife, devoted mother (refusing to impose gender, she refers to her 7-year-old son as “they,” “them,” or “their”), and self-described “minor celebrity” – leaves her home and family to embark on a solo cross-country drive, her excursion turns into a modern day Alice in Wonderland (with a lot more kink). Like a lone caterpillar, she is changing, literally designing her own cocoon in which to begin her wild transformation.
Social Media I Loved This Week
Song of the Week
Changed the Locks By Lucinda Williams
Tom Petty made a popular cover of this heart-wrenching break-up song written by Lucinda Williams.
Here is Williams’s live version from Austin, TX.
Williams and Petty were friends. She had opened for him at the last live concert he played in 2017 at The Hollywood Bowl. After his death she made a tribute album of Petty covers. (It’s a shame none of the songs were on the Petty Country compilation). Here is a terrific reminiscence from Kenny Vaughan, a terrific guitarist who toured with Williams in the 90’s for her breakthrough album Car Wheels on a Gravel Road.
Thanks for sharing this summer day with us. Enjoy these last few weeks of summer, CRUSHes.
XO,
Dish
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