Paulina Porizkova, 58, who identifies herself as an “accidental former supermodel” and current writer, continues to provoke on her social media feed. She posted a sexy photo of herself with her boyfriend Jeff Greenstein’s hand grasping her bared right breast.
“Being desirable is having power,” she wrote under the photo. “You have what everyone wants, and it is in your power to dispense it to whom you want.” As a supermodel formerly married to a rock star (the late Ric Ocasek of The Cars), she knows what she’s talking about when she talks about the power of being desired. “So why is it that a sexy photo of a girl who doesn’t know anything about sex is preferable to that of a mature woman who knows all about it?“ she goes on to write.
I agree, of course, and published the article Heat vs. Warmth: Let’s Cool It With the Idea That Women Age Out of Hot in Chip Conley’s Wisdom Well in July 2023. “The irony, or course,” I wrote “is that for many of us, we are having the most open, fearless, enjoyable sex of our lives.“
When Porzikova initially started her opinionated and bare-all posting on instagram a few years ago, some friends suggested I follow her. “She’s strong and smart,” they said. I did. I was turned off by what I thought was a combination of too many posts of her in string bikinis (you go girl!, just not as compelling to me as, say, photos of rescued puppies) interspersed with posts that I saw as whining too much about not being as desired (for modeling, or dating) as she used to be. So I wished her well on her journey (as they say), but stopped following her. I wanted to keep my feed “empowered” as it related to the realities of aging, mostly to try to protect my own sometimes fragile mood over it.
And, the truth is, I didn’t see that what she was doing related to me in any way, who was never a supermodel, never married to a rockstar, never consciously deployed the “power of being desirable,” and who would no sooner post a photo of myself in a bikini (hot or not) as I would of myself putting on my make-up (sorry, @sharonsaysso, but why?). (Porzikova admits that a certain level of narcissism is a helpful characteristic for models and entertainers.)
And then in 2021 a friend forwarded a post of Paulina’s that turned me around on her. She was responding to (yet more) criticism of her string bikini posts. “At your age, you should be bathing in the love of your kids … instead of … parading around half naked and acting like a 16 year old,” one hater wrote (in part). She replied “By what standard is it ok to ogle a nude teen, but not a mature woman? I have done the same photos since I was 15. Back then, I couldn’t be proud of who I was because I didn’t yet know who I was … I posed for others. An older woman is allowed wisdom, humor, patience — but not sensuality. Not sexiness. This is a major societal taboo which is precisely why I post what I post.“
So I started following her again. I not only began to see things from her perspective — having bared her body nearly her entire life to applause, what drove the sudden, aggressive opprobrium? I also saw that she was doing more than I had thought at first. She was, in fact, taking on the mantle for the rest of us. She had embraced a role at the leading edge for all of us who insist that the world reframe how it sees us, women over 50. And, at the leading edge, she was putting herself out there repeatedly, knowing that she would be personally attacked, criticized, heaped with hatred. For the benign act of posting pictures of herself in bikinis not dissimilar to what she had been doing since she was a teen.
I realized that it is not Porzikova these haters hate. It is us. She is just a symbol of the rest of us. A particularly hot one, for sure, but a symbol for the idea that women can be and feel sexy at any age. And for the more subversively powerful statement that underlies her posts — she is no longer doing it at the demand of others or to please others, but as her own choice and to celebrate herself. A year later, in 2022 she wrote “When I was a young model exposing my body, it was because someone else approved of it. Someone else decided it was to be celebrated. I didn’t know enough to have an understanding of consequences. Hence, objectification. Now, when I expose my body, it is with my full knowledge and consent. Hence, celebration.”
And now I follow Porzikova religiously. I like every damn post. All the modeling ones. The contemplative ones, the bare-faced, skin regimen ones, the ‘feeling down today’ ones. Even the political ones. All the string bikinis. (There are so very many.) All the ones with her boyfriend Jeff. (There are so very many. (So happy for you, Paulina!)). Why do I make a point of liking everything she does? Because it feels like offering support in her battle against sexism and ageism, which is a battle against a hateful, insidious and pervasive enemy. She deserves it, for her sake. But also, it is an act of self-love, a statement of self-worth, in a battle also being waged on behalf of the rest of us. She may be impossibly hot but she is also, improbably, me. And if you are a CRUSH Reader, probably you, too.]
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