“Not Wasting An Outfit:” Bethenny Frankel’s Live Insta Dating Updates. By Dish Stanley
I’m not a Real Housewives fan (except for popping in on the latest season to see Jenna Lyons (and staying for Bryn Whitfield)). So I didn’t follow Bethenny Frankel in RHONY. All the better because I come to her midlife dating offerings as a Bethenny virgin (without a bias). And hellah-yes, I’m following her now on Instagram @bethennyfrankel
Which is to say, I’ve been highly entertained by the live dating updates she posts on her instagram account from her new home in the Hamptons. She also has a podcast Just B Dating with Bethenny Frankel where, she says, “if you can’t handle the truth, you can’t handle this podcast.” I’ve listened to all the Just B Dating episodes and I’m working on something that shares my thoughts on them — there’s already a lot (she’s on a roll, putting out 10 Just B Dating episodes since July 11th).
But it’s her insta reels where she aborts dates at the very last minute (sometimes after getting dressed for them!) that first pulled me into her dating life. They are Bethenny’s own version of Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. In addition to providing a glimpse into the hell of midlife dating in real time (very validating), they’re an opinionated hodge-podge of candid advice, humor and, yes, even suspense. (She was engaged but, evidently (according to the comments on her instagram account) they broke up last spring and she’s just getting back out there.)
The best “dating abort” story from her insta is the one where the guy she had been fixed up with by a ‘credible’ friend asked her to pick him up on the way to the date, which was the pink flag that resulted in her tracking down his divorce agreement off the internet - watch it here.
Another good, though complicated (“Try to follow this, they’ll be a quiz after”), ‘dating abort story‘ involves a case of double identity and a lot of reading between the lines - watch it here.
She frequently posts about getting ready for a date. If she does, I am on the edge of my seat until she reports back. As of this writing she has aborted three dates.
Bethenny is a first-rate sleuth when it comes to dating.
In the aborted date linked to above, she tracked down the publicly filed legal documents pertaining to his divorce to find out details that included the fact that his ex-wife pays him alimony. (He had presented himself as successful and wealthy; she shares that she has already been in the situation where she had to pay a lot of money to an ex and wants to avoid “gold diggers.”) Another time, she aborted a date with a guy because — reading between the lines of his texts — she guessed that her intended date was the driver for a V.I.P., not the V.I.P. himself.
Her dating credo vis-a-vis protecting the identities of her dates.
She will not “Taylor Swift” any of her dates. Meaning, she will not give enough information about anyone she dates for us to figure out who they are.
She will not talk about anyone she likes. Meaning, she is protecting those she is (and presumably has been) in an actual relationships with. Also meaning we are only getting the horror stories.
I like that she does this. When I share dating stories with friends, or even with other dates, I do not provide names or details that would “give-away” the names of previous guys I’ve dated (whether or not we ended up in a relationship). It is very common when I’m on a date, especially with a New Yorker, that they want to swap dating stories, particularly stories that are either funny or examples of wretched dating experiences. They ALWAYS want to know the names of the guys in my dating stories. I never say share the names, so sometimes it can get quite testy. You’d think that they’d appreciate my discretion, since it means that they might have some confidence that I would not, down the road, share stories about them. But they don’t appreciate it. They think to themselves, “why doesn’t she trust me enough to give me the name,” while at the same time thinking that if I did it wouldn’t somehow suggest that I might be indiscreet about them.
Here’s a date outfit she was happy with:
In Just B Dating, Bethenny invites dating experts on to weigh in alongside her on various facets of dating. As I mentioned, I have a lot to say about these episodes — at times I’m in agreement, at times it just doesn’t align with my experience and at times I’m just scratching my head — but here’s the link for anybody who wants to dive in:
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