Love/Sex/Moon Magick By Lynn Eaton

A regular column from our resident Wiccan Lynn Eaton.

Going Home.

As I sit in the woods of northern Ontario this morning, I am alone with my soul. The whisper of the wind, the chatter of chipmunks, and the call of the loon make me aware of how tenuous our hold on this realm truly is. I have no connection to the world outside – no internet, no cell reception. And yet, I feel how thin the veil of communication between the worlds can be sometimes.

My grandfather and I were close. I loved that man. His favorite line when on the telephone with me was, “Oh my dear, you're lookin’ well.” Decades before Zoom calls, I felt like I could see him. And the day after he died, I did.

I was living thousands of miles away and couldn’t make it home for my final farewell. He came to me in a dream. Normally, I dream in full color. He was in black and white. I held him. “You’re lookin' well. But I’m tired.”

I could feel his love as he told me that he didn’t want to come back again. “I love you, but I just don’t want to do this again.”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to. I know that you loved me in this lifetime.”

“Thank you,” he said. “I’m home now.” As we hugged, he faded and I woke up with a tear-streaked face. I loved that man.

I have regular visits from my grandmothers, too. I sit and drink tea with Gramie. I watch Gran bake bread and knit mittens. Neither of them seem to know they’re “home" but are in their familiar earthly surroundings.

Recently, my beloved Uncle George died. Over the years, we communicated regularly through email, Facebook and occasional visits as I moved from home to home.

In mid-June, my cousin emailed to confirm my cell phone number, “just in case.” Uh, oh.

Uncle George was in the hospital in Vancouver and we texted daily. At one point, he texted that the family had been summoned and that he’d probably not make it through the night. The next day, the text he sent was simple: “Still here.”

My sister and I drove the 2,800 kilometers to our other sister’s house. Arrangements were made to visit him on that Sunday, “Dim Sum Day”, so we brought his favorite dishes to the hospital which he devoured with glee.

His wit was sharp. His body shook with the laughter I remembered. The jokes were hilarious. The physiotherapists arrived for his daily routine. With effort, he completed the tasks.

“I’m going home tomorrow,” he declared. The physios expressed doubt. He repeated it and looked deeply into my eyes. “I’m going home tomorrow. He told me.” I knew what he meant. He knew I knew it.

As our time limit approached, we spoke a little French. No one else understood us.

“A la prochaine” he said. Until next time. I responded in kind, adding, “Je t’aime, mon oncle.” I love you, my uncle.
He went home the next day. To wherever that next home may be, I know my Uncle George is home again. A la prochaine, mon oncle. Say hi to the folks from me.

We Are Family!

Our resident witch contemplates creating a family wherever you are.

Growing up in rural Nova Scotia in the ‘60s and ‘70s, I thought that I knew what family meant. Parents, siblings, grandparents, aunties and uncles, cousins. We moved around a LOT in those days. By the time I was thirteen, we had moved eight times, my eighth year in school and my eighth school. All I had to count on was my family.

As an adult, I continued to move regularly. Across the country. Into the United States. Back to Nova Scotia, across Canada again to Calgary and finally to rural Saskatchewan where my gypsy feet finally grew some roots.

Over many decades my definition of what family means has also changed significantly. Sure, the bloodlines are still there and social media helps me keep in touch with them over the miles. But family can be defined in so many other ways, too.

I have a work family in Saskatchewan. We are educators and are involved in making our corner of the world a little better through education. We laugh and cry and celebrate together.

I have a theatre family in Calgary. Folks who have shared common productions with me keep in contact and memories come flooding back in an instant. The echoes of the applause reverberate, even after almost twenty years.

And I have a witchy family. Those ties are strong, forged through time and space and ritual. Those ties are fierce. Those ties are my family.

When I first began exploring my witchy identity, I had no one. I didn’t even really know what or who I was seeking back then. It was just an ache, a feeling of a connection that I needed and couldn’t quite grasp. Ephemeral as the morning mists.

I started by reading some books. Scott Cunningham, Marion Weinstein, Silver RavenWolf, and Starhawk. I searched for like-minded practitioners and found some.

It started slowly, as most solid relationships do. Meeting once a week in a universal spiritual gathering place, we discussed many aspects of spirituality. Gradually, some of us got together for Full Moon rituals. And then New Moon rituals. And then Solstice and Equinox rituals. Those are sort of like the major events that regular families gather together.

But also like families, we would just hang out together, too. We hiked the nature trails, swam in local lakes, danced in the rain, watched rainbows over the treetops and drummed the rhythm of the nights.

And we had our differences. Some were minor, like who was going to lead the next ritual, and easily solved. Others were much larger and required time and distance. One such incident stands out in my mind.

Samhain (October 31st) is our New Year and is the most powerful of the rituals. It’s a time when the veil between the worlds is at its thinnest and communication is most fluid between “our” world and the world beyond. It is a time to honor our ancestors and others near and dear to us who have passed on. I was unprepared for just how powerful that would be.

We set up our altar with photos and trinkets representing our loved ones. We cast the circle. We called the directions of East, South, West and North. We called upon the God and Goddess to be with us in our circle. We chanted and danced to raise power. We were between the worlds. Messages began to come through. I began to speak.

I don’t remember what I said. I remember Nic’s reaction when we finished the ritual and had closed down the energy and the circle. He was angry. Beyond angry. Livid.

“How dare you! He was MY friend! That message was supposed to be for me!” I was dumbfounded. I had no idea. The message just came through. We didn’t speak for over a year. If I saw his car at our mutual friend’s house, I kept driving. He did the same. A family feud, to be sure.

And just like families, we made up. It took a while. It took some baby steps. We healed. Just like family. Because we are family. And we love each other.

Cutting Ties or Stitching Lovers?

Our resident witch offers the perfect recipe for keeping or letting go of anyone in your life.

Relationships are hard. They morph. They take weird twists and turns. They ebb and flow. And sometimes, they break. So how do you deal with that?

Personally, I find the process to be overwhelming. I keep re-playing discussions—confrontations--over and over and over, trying to understand what went “wrong” in the relationship. Did I say something inappropriate? Did I use the wrong tone of voice? Are my expectations too high? Too low?

Sometimes, you just have to let go. And it’s hard. And you don’t quite know how to do it. You can become stuck in a never-ending loop of frustration.

Here’s an easy spell to help, and most of its “ingredients” are probably in your very own kitchen, right now.

GATHER:
3 pinches Cayenne pepper
9 drops peppermint extract (or three pinches of dried peppermint leaves)
3 pinches dried rosemary
1 teaspoon olive oil

MIX the above ingredients together in a small bowl.

ADD: 3 inches Black satin cord, cut into small pieces.

LIGHT: A black candle and allow the wax to slowly cover the mixture.

SAY: “Our ties are cut, our time is done. While it lasted, we had some fun. No more drama, no more scorn. No longer shall I be forlorn. No hard feelings, just set me free. As I will, so mote it be.”

(Or words that feel right to you. They don’t even have to rhyme!)

REPEAT: Those words until the wax has completely sealed the cords and spices mixture. Roll the wax into a ball.

DISPOSE: If you’re lucky enough to live by some water, toss it in! You could also bury it or burn it in a bonfire.

See? Simple!

Other times, you may want to bring more love into a relationship that has gone stale. It’s not the time for letting go, but you need to repair some of the rips and tears in the fabric of the bonds that have weakened.

Here’s another simple spell to help!

MATERIALS you will need are:
1 small rose quartz crystal
pink cloth (enough to wrap around the quartz)
sewing needle
pink thread
1 pink candle
9 drops rose oil (for love)
3 pinches dried basil (for harmony)
3 pinches grated orange zest (for joy)

DIRECTIONS: Mix the rose oil, basil and orange zest together.

Tightly wrap the cloth around the rose quartz and stitch it closed with the needle and thread. A multiple of three stitches is a good choice. Make sure that the quartz is securely fastened and won’t slip out of the cloth.

Drench the wrapped crystal with the rose oil mixture.

Light the candle.

As the candle burns (in a safe place!), hold the cloth-covered crystal in your hands and think about the relationship that you wish to heal. Visualize the other person. Remember fond memories of your shared experiences.

Once this is firmly set in your imagination, say these words (or similar ones of your choosing):

“I attract joy and harmony. I attract love and peace. I weave contentment between us. I stitch love and hope. I am filled with calm and delight. I mend this rift by day and night. As I will so mote it be.”

Place the crystal near (but not too close!) the candle and let it burn completely out. Put the crystal under your pillow and dream of the relationship, mended and filled with harmony, joy and love.

Both of these spells are relatively easy to do, with items easily found in your house or local dollar store.

All that’s left is to send those vibes out into the Universe. As Marion Weinstein says, “For the good of all, according to the free will of all. So mote it be.”

So, whether it’s time to cut the cord or mend the fabric, be easy on yourself. And Blessed Be.

Love/Sex/Moon Magick: Kitchen Witchery

Can you conjure spells from items in your kitchen? Our resident Wiccan shows us how.

I’ve always considered myself a Kitchen Witch. Many of my spells and conjurings are crafted with everyday items from my kitchen: bay leaf, cinnamon, red pepper, salt, and vodka. I follow my instincts and there always seems to be a reason for the ingredients in my spells.

One memorable example is from 1999. I had moved to the Maritime provinces of Canada and a good friend of mine in Illinois was diagnosed with brain tumors. She was given only weeks to live. Her daughter reached out to me for help. (DISCLAIMER!! I am NOT, nor do I profess to be, any type of health professional!!) Once I was assured that I had my friend’s permission to do a spell, I set to work.

I browsed through a few of my books: Positive Magic by Marion Weinstein, To Ride A Silver Broomstick by Silver Ravenwolf, and Cunnigham’s Encyclopedia of Magical Herbs by Scott Cunningham. I took suggestions from each of them and added a variety of herbs to a vodka base. I started to simmer the brew on the propane stove, but there seemed to be something missing. My dad’s wife, my daughter, and I set off for the Farmer’s Market. Lemon Balm. I had to find some fresh Lemon Balm. None of my resources had mentioned this herb, but I knew it had to go into my concoction. Near the back of the market, I found it.

The mixture simmered throughout the day. We cast a circle of healing as the sun went down and set our intention. We infused our circle with our potion and sent our energies towards her, confident that our spell would work. As we discussed our day later in the evening, Sue remembered that she had a large book of correspondences in the living room. We consulted it, and sure enough! Lemon Balm was listed as helpful to headaches and maladies of the head!

But Kitchen Witchery isn’t just for spells and potions. Every time you venture into the heart of your home to construct a meal, magick is afoot.

How many times have you heard someone say, “I put the secret ingredient into this: Love.” That love is what nourishes our souls. And I was lucky as I grew up to spend many hours in my grandmothers’ kitchens. My kitchen now is the home to their recipe books. Spell books for food! And every time I make something from one of those books, the sweet aromas wafting through the air remind me of the love they put into their meals.

Recently, I discovered the culmination of both of these concepts in my granddaughter, Ostara. She and I were baking bread in my kitchen when, out of the blue, she said, “Gran. We need to do a protection spell around this place.” Without missing a beat, I agreed and asked her, “What do you think we should put into it?” She knew by instinct which spices to choose: red pepper flakes, ground black pepper, garlic powder, salt, cinnamon. And the unusual ingredient of pretzel crackers. She ground them up in my mortar and pestle and chose the incense. Dragon’s Blood. Perfect.

We went outside and welcomed the four directions and their attributes: North for Earth, East for Air (huge gusts blew over us as we called this one!), South for Fire and West for Water (a few raindrops hit our faces). We invited the gods and goddesses to join us as we walked around the property, sprinkling the protection powder as we went.

As we returned to where we began, we stated our intent to protect our property and all those who entered in. We also envisioned only those with good intentions would be able to enter. Thanking the directions, Gods and Goddesses, I felt such warmth and peace.

The smell of baking bread enveloped us as we walked through the door. I felt as if we were walking through a space-time loop to my grandmothers and their love and kitchen witchery. My Ostara will carry on the tradition in her time. My young Kitchen Witch.

Love/Sex/Moon Magick: I've Been Here Before

Our resident wiccan makes a proposal for handling that deja vu feeling all over again, whatever it is.

It was more like a presence this time. A connection through time and space. Still warm. Still sweet. Like a lingering caress from a long-ago lover. And then, it was gone.

Déjà vu. That feeling that you’ve been there, done that. Usually, it lasts only seconds for me these days. And just a fleeting, tingling feeling. But other times. Oh, my. Hours or even entire days would unfold around me.

As a young child, I was both fascinated by and terrified of this gift. I would get the feeling coming in a wave over my whole body. The situation would become more and more familiar until someone said what I came to label “The keywords.” I’d say the words that I heard myself say in my head aloud. And the déjà vu event would unfold.

As I matured, these events became more sporadic. I almost forgot about them. Until I was on a road trip with a good friend. Exhausted from a long drive, we stopped for a picnic close to our destination. A sweet, warm breeze wafted over us. And then, something else enveloped me. That déjà vu feeling again. But not the same at all.

It was more like a presence this time. A connection through time and space. Still warm. Still sweet. Like a lingering caress from a long-ago lover. And then, it was gone.

Years passed. Lovers came and went. I married. I had a daughter. Another exhausting road trip. To the Ozarks this time. And… BAM!!! Déjà vu all over again. But this one was not gentle. Nor sweet.

My (now ex) husband’s family had lived on the property for generations. The house was unfamiliar to me and I had to find the bathroom. Vague directions from a cousin steered me in its general direction. And then I saw it. The old black and white photograph. Confederate soldiers and their guide in front of army tents. Grim faces. His face.

I knew him. Not in this lifetime, but backwards in Time. The connection was immediate and electric. His eyes held mine. I felt his energy flow through and around me. And my tears flowed too. I felt the love we shared then. It was as true and real as if he had been in that room with me. And I had to leave him there. Without any answers about his identity or destiny.

Is it still déjà vu if it’s feelings and emotions rather than an event? What if it’s a place instead?

I have felt a connection and attraction to Greece since I was ten years old. I loved their myths, gods and goddesses. I bought photography books of the Greek Islands. I bought a phrase book in my teens and longed to travel there. And in 2019 I did.

Three glorious weeks of exploration and immersion of this spectacular place. In Delphi, the connection was instantaneous and powerful. The best photograph of me was taken there. My body vibrated. Electric currents flowed through my body and into my soul. I washed my hands and face in the very spring of the Oracles. I felt like I was home. More tears. Happy ones this time.

Other sites sang to my soul too. In Dodoni, I knew what buildings the ruins were used for in those ancient times before reading the signs describing those very functions. On the beach on the island of Iraklia, I was content and relaxed and full of joy. Being in Greece was a return to my soul’s birth.

So, as you travel this life, look for and listen to those déjà vu moments. Those déjà vu people. And those déjà vu places. Revel in them.

Love/Sex/Moon Magick: Friend or Foe? Ask the Tarot!

Our resident Wiccan offers a simple Tarot layout anyone can try to see if their friendship is in the stars—or cards.

Friendships during midlife can be challenging, to say the least. It was so much easier “before.” Maybe I’m just pickier now. Maybe it’s because we live on an acreage in rural Saskatchewan. Maybe it’s COVID. But how do I know if this new acquaintance will become a good friend? Or a lover? (Not another lover for me, I’m firmly committed. But this could work for you if you’re “on the market.”)

Good friendships are like comfy sweaters: They keep you warm. They come with sweet memories. Sometimes they get dirty with you and may even come unraveled from time to time. But when do you let go? When is it time for something new? How to choose from so many options?

Friendships are like that for me, too. The Tarot helps me to sort through the fabric of those friendships.

Tarot reading has been a part of my life for over thirty years. I have over two dozen different decks that I enjoy. Two of those decks traveled with me to Delphi, Greece to connect with the ancient oracles. Like those oracles, I am merely a conduit for the answers in the Universe. And the Tarot is not the be-all and end-all to questions. It helps to clarify situations and relationships.

Here is a simple layout anyone can try, even if you’re unfamiliar with the Tarot:

Breathe deeply and think about the person in question while shuffling your deck. See this person in your mind’s eye. Think about how this person came into your life. Think about where you believe you are now in this relationship. Think about where you believe this alliance will go in the immediate future.

When you feel that the cards are ready, lay them down in front of you into three piles, left to right.

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The pile to the left represents where this relationship has its roots. Turn over the top card. How did you find each other? What is the basis of this relationship? Look carefully at this card. What emotions do you feel? What colors stand out to you? What symbols resonate with you as it relates to this person? Is it the Ace of Cups? An auspicious budding relationship would be represented with that card.

The stack in the middle is where you are now in this relationship. Turn over the top card. Is it a struggle as depicted in the Eight of Wands? The Seven of Cups is all about the abundance of choices in this relationship. What needs do you fill for each other?

The pile on the right is for the future with each other. Turn over the top card. Where is the relationship going if you do not change directions? Is it The Lovers card? That would be a clear indication that this has great potential for your future!

There are, of course, times when the cards show that a relationship could be toxic at worst, or a bumpy ride at best. The Tower springs to mind immediately. Built on shifting sand of a foundation, the images of people leaping out of a tower that’s been hit by lightning seem to be the epitome of disaster!

Know that the tarot is merely a snapshot of how things are in this particular split-second in time. Choose what’s best for you, secure in the knowledge that the tarot can illuminate, but does not dictate. Free will is always at play.

Love/Sex/Moon Magick: A New Moon Ritual for Banishing Things Out of Your Life. By Lynn Eaton

With each New Moon comes the opportunity to get rid of the unwanted in your life, and our resident Wiccan has an easy ritual you can try at home. You have a few days to prepare yourself for the new moon on April 1st; start by getting yourself a small black candle.

New moon is often referred to as the “dark moon.” Living in the country, it’s a noticeable aspect. No streetlights illuminate our yard. It seems quieter too. Animals aren’t as active. And banishment of the light is an apt metaphor for the banishment of a darker aspect of our Self. It’s a time to get rid of old habits, addictions, or even relationships. New moons are a great time for getting rid of unwanted things.

Over the years, I had quit smoking cigarettes several times. I always went back. Sometimes, the excuse was that it was only when I was having a beer or two. Other times, it was because of a traumatic event that happened in my life. Still other times, it was while on holiday with friends.

Whatever the reason to begin though, there was always a good reason to quit: It was too cold outside to smoke, my clothes smelled nasty, it was costing too much. And quitting was a challenge.

I tried hypnosis. It worked for about a week. I tried prescription cessation drugs. It gave me nightmares. I tried cold turkey. It worked for several years. Until it didn’t.

My Hunny Man smokes. He’s tried to quit numerous times over the years, too.

“Hey! You’re a witch! Make a spell for us to quit smoking!” So, I did. Here’s my “recipe” to banish that habit:

Materials:
1 small black candle
1 square of black cloth, about 3”
Green yarn or string
1 small amethyst crystal
1 small piece of carnelian
3 pinches cinnamon
3 pinches ginger
3 pinches rosemary
3 pinches tobacco
Olive oil (enough to combine the spices and tobacco. Keep it in multiples of three drops if you can)

Method:
Take a shower or a bath to clear your head and cleanse your body.
Create a healing space where you won’t be distracted. I have several altars in my house and when I am performing spellwork, I draw from this energy.
Choose some relaxing music. (I regularly choose Loreena McKennitt, Robbie Robertson or native flute music.)
Combine the olive oil, spices and tobacco as you focus your thoughts on banishing this addiction.
Rub the black candle gently with it.
Place the candle into a safe holder and light it as you say:
“As this candle burns, so burns my desire to smoke decrease. As this candle burns, so does tobacco’s hold on me. As this candle burns, so does my strength increase to overcome this barrier.”

Allow the candle to burn down completely in a safe place.

Take the remaining oil and spice mixture and rub it onto the crystals. Again, focus your intention to rid yourself of tobacco onto them. Place the stub of the candle with it into the center of the black cloth and tie it up with the green string.

Thank the energy of the Universe for its assistance and carry the amulet with you.
Did it work? For me, yes. For my Hunny Man? Not entirely. He definitely smokes fewer cigarettes now though. Maybe it’s time for a re-do. Where are my black candles?

Love/Sex/Moon Magick: Witchy Self Love. By Lynn Eaton

Our resident Wiccan shares her daily rituals for comfort and protection, including a “magical” daily Affirmation for you to try.

The obvious tools for self-care for a Wiccan are much the same as for everyone: good hygiene, a balanced diet, exercise, and humor about the world around us. But as a Wiccan, there is an added layer to these that helps navigate the space between the worlds of this physical realm and that of the unseen metaphysical one.

Before I do any ritual or spellwork, I cleanse myself physically and mentally. I begin with a long, hot shower with my favorite soaps. Often, that is a peppermint, pomegranate, and rose mixture. It engages my senses and I visualize all of the debris and clutter of my physical body being washed down the drain.

At the beginning and end of the day, reciting an Affirmation is a powerful form of self-care, But before I offer up an Affirmation, let’s talk about creating ritual space, and attending to it with care. It need not be large or fancy, just a place where you regularly offer thanks or breathe deeply or meditate. I had allowed myself to become inattentive to my daily Affirmations and used this realization as an opportunity to rearrange my ritual space. Everything was taken from the surface, cleaned, and examined for resonance. Representations from each of the four elements of Earth, Air, Fire, and Water were positioned with love. Tokens from past and present loved ones were rearranged. “Words of Power” from Marion Weinstein’s book Positive Magic were taped to the wall.

Reciting this Affirmation, taken directly from Weinstein’s book, helps me ground and center daily. It draws from the power of the four elements, and I share it in case it is useful to you.

The One Power that moves the Moon
Moves through you.
The Power that lights the Sun
Lights your life.
It is female and it is male.
It is clouds and rain,
It lives in the damp earth,
In root and in the bud.
It moves the wind.
It is all life, born and unborn,
On this Plane and on the next,
Visible and Invisible,
In planet and star.
It blesses and protects,
Heals and creates;
It moves backward and forwards in Time,
Through all of space –
In this life, and in myriad yet to come
And in the past as well...
This Power is yours
As it is mine;
It is Goddess and it is God.
Use it, for the good of all,
With ease and with joy –
To bless your life
And so Mote it be.

The most important aspect of Wiccan self-care is knowing when to say “no.” It’s a simple word and one with which I struggle. Many folks ask me to help them with spells, rituals, or tarot readings. My agreement with the Universe requires that I do so. My agreement with myself is that I set boundaries. So I do. With ease and with joy. So, Mote, It Be.

Love/Sex/Moon Magick: Endings, Happy and Otherwise. By Lynn Eaton

A regular column from our resident Wiccan Lynn Eaton

Relationships end. There’s a saying that people come into our lives for a reason, a season, or for life. Many times it’s unclear which of the categories a particular person occupies until the passage of time un-muddies the waters. And often you don’t know the relationship has ended for months or even years after it’s done. You’ve just drifted apart.

My first marriage ended in the 1990s. It was inevitable, I suppose. We had a run of eight years and without it, I wouldn’t have my two amazing daughters. For that I am grateful.

When we divorced, it seemed amicable. We even went out for lunch at a local Mexican restaurant after court to celebrate. We continued to share the house for a couple of months until I got myself organized for a move across the state. We were in regular contact for parenting responsibilities. I took my last name back.

The end? Well, sort of.

Although we had the divorce papers, it seemed that there wasn’t a real ending for me. No closure. A loose end. Something had to be done.

During this time, I reclaimed my witchy self. (I had been “forbidden” to express any of that while married. No full moon rites, no tarot cards, no power.) I began reaching out to like-minded folks in my new city. I came out of the broom closet on local television.

The end? No.

I still felt connected to this relationship and I wanted an ending. So, I designed a ritual to do just that.

First, I consulted my calendar. New moon was a week away. New moon is a time to clean out that which doesn’t serve you any longer. Sweep out that psychic closet, so to speak. Perfect for absolute endings and new beginnings.

Next, I wrote out my “vows.” All the stuff that I wanted to release. It took a few pages and was quite cathartic. I spoke with a witchy friend who helped me gather other items that would be helpful in the rite: A black candle to banish negativity, rose oil to ease the severing of ties, a wedding photo, the champagne glasses inscribed with our names and the date from our wedding.

New moon arrived. A circle was cast. Energy raised. Intent spoken aloud. Candle burnt down. Vows reduced to ash. Glasses and ashes placed into a brown paper bag and smashed. Hand was cut accidentally. Blood was spilled onto the bag. Tears. Release. Power reclaimed. But what to do with those remnants?

The night was dark. New moon, remember? I drove to the crossroads just outside of town. It’s a busy place, but there’s a pull-out just to the side. Gravel. Perfect resting spot for those remains. As I dug, I chanted a victory song. By the power of the New Moon, I released that old relationship into the Universe. I imagined that with the passing of every vehicle, the energy and power would sweep away any lingering ties.

Decades have passed since then. Our daughters have children of their own. From that ending, new beginnings have blossomed and grown. Happy ending.

Love/Sex/Moon Magick. Mrs. Eaton’s Mincemeat. By Lynn Eaton

Our resident Wiccan shares a decades-old family holiday recipe and recalls the Magick of the never-forgotten family.

This time of year has always been a Magickal time for me and my family. A time to travel backward and forwards in time. A time for remembering Yuletides gone before, making memories in the present, and projecting traditions into the future.

I am blessed to have both of my grandmother’s handwritten cookbooks. Seeing their familiar script on the paper warms my heart. This is especially true at this time of year.

The familiar smells of the recipes transport me back into their kitchens. Memories of Gramie helping my mother with the seasonal baking on the old wood stove. Gran making War Cake (basically a dark fruitcake) and ginger cookies. Baking sweets with Mom and my sisters as soon as we could reach the counters. Oh! The smells of chocolate cake with boiled icing, shortbread cookies, and ginger balls still linger in my memory. And they have been revived each year with my children and grandchildren.

But it’s the mincemeat that I have the most attachment to. Mrs. Eaton’s Mincemeat. I wrote out the recipe while still in my teens from that same recipe book that now lives on my bookshelf. And in 1987, my Aunt Margaret met me at O’Hare airport to give me all of Gran’s cookbooks. But there was a catch: I had to promise that if I made a compilation of the “best” ones, I’d share it with my aunts, uncles, sisters, and cousins. Easy. That was my plan for gifts that December anyway.

Two years after I was married, we traveled to Dad and Sue’s place on Prince Edward Island. I had compiled Gran’s best-loved recipes book on an old Adam computer. A colleague did the cover art for me.

As I handed out the precious gifts, I made them all open at the same time. Tears flowed at the memory of Gran in her apron in that tiny farm kitchen.

Dad suddenly guffawed. “Do you know whose recipe this is? “Mrs. Eaton’s Mincemeat?”

“No, but I thought it might be Gran’s but it’d be presumptuous of her to call it that.”

“It was Julia Burbidge’s. Your Grandad’s mother. Gran’s mother-in-law. There’s no way it’s the true recipe. It might be close but not 100%. Those two women hated each other.”

I felt the presence of Julia Burbidge reach out across the decades and join in the laughter. And Ellen Steckle Eaton was there too, possibly smiling at the notion that she had it figured out after all. Time and Space dissolved. Another Yuletide memory was made.

Over the years, this recipe has been made and shared with love. I offer it to you as my gift. Enjoy!

Here’s the recipe:

Mrs. Eaton’s Mincemeat
4 cups chopped lean meat
2 cups chopped suet
(I use 6 cups of regular hamburger instead of these two. So much easier!)
12 cups chopped apples (Macintosh are best)
1 cup vinegar
3 cups raisins
1 cup currants
5 cups brown sugar
1 ½ cups molasses
6 teaspoons cinnamon
3 grated nutmeg (or 3 teaspoons of ground)
The desired amount of citron peel (about 2 to 3 cups)
Juice of 1 lemon
Butter the size of an egg
½ teaspoon salt
Enough strong coffee to moisten (I think my Gran added this so she’d have an excuse to make a pot!)

Cook on top of the stove for two hours. Place into sterile mason jars and seal tightly. It’s best when it sits for a month or two before turning it into pies and tarts.

Love/Sex/Moon Magick: My Personal Journey to Becoming A Witch. By Lynn Eaton

While some may believe that all witches are initiated into the craft by a coven, PrimeCrush’s resident Wiccan took her own sacred path in communion with everything, including her CD player.

In my mid-thirties, I was searching for my path to spirituality. I discovered a very open-minded congregation of Unitarians in Kenosha, Wisconsin where a celebration of Samhain raised joyful, playful energy. I read books by Marion Weinstein and Scott Cunningham.

In my studies, some authors stated that in order to be considered a “full witch” I would have to be initiated into the craft by a coven. I found some like-minded folks and we celebrated together but I felt on the outside somehow. I was discouraged by the fact that I hadn’t been initiated, that I hadn’t come into my full power. Yet I didn’t feel like I needed to have someone wave their magic wand over me and “Presto! You’re are Witch!”

Months passed without closure. I let go of the idea of “having” to have a formal ceremony to be a Witch. And that’s when it happened.

I was alone. My daughter was spending the night at a friend’s house. The moon was full. I couldn’t sleep. Loreena McKennitt’s album “The Book of Secrets” played on my CD player. I began to dance. I called the powers of the four directions to my space. I called out to the Goddess. I continued to dance. My body began to vibrate with power. Tears streamed down my face as I released negative energy. I danced. The CD ended. The moonlight was pouring through my window. I was connected to everything. Everyone. The Universe and its Power. I was not alone after all, but was I truly a Witch now?

Another Samhain (October 31st) was approaching. Witches celebrate with festivities called sabbats eight times a year and include the solstices and equinoxes. Samhain is the final celebration of the Witch’s Wheel of the Year. It’s a time for reflecting on the final harvest of crops, but also the Final Harvest of our lives. It’s honoring, and communicating with, our ancestors. I had found a group of like-minded folks and a rite was being planned.

I called one of the Directions - North. The home of my ancestors and where I was born. I felt the connection between my grandparents and great-grandparents. I could feel their strength in my blood. Power was raised with the others in the circle. The veil between the worlds was very thin and messages were coming through.

I don’t remember what I said. I was merely the conduit for the information streaming through for one of those in the circle. Its impact was immediate and visceral. We could feel the energy swirling around and through us and into the world as a healing power. I was definitely a Witch now.

My daughter Robyn’s experience was a bit different. She was much younger (nine years old!) when she made the decision to follow the Wiccan path. And while she wanted to create her own dedication ritual to the Craft, she wanted to have others close to us help welcome her into it.

She found a lovely dress at a local thrift store and hand sewed little charm-like baubles onto it. She chose the music to play and the words to call the directions into our circle. She did it with the humor and playfulness that accompanies a nine-year-old. She asked each of us to bear witness to her promise to stay connected to the Magick all around her for the rest of her life. She made banana bread to share at the end of the ceremony. She became a Witch that night.

I am a Witch. I am connected in spirit to all who have gone before me and those who will follow in my footsteps. Blessed Be and Happy Samhain!

Love/Sex/Moon Magick: Past Lives, Past Loves. By Lynn Eaton

Ever met someone and thought you knew them before? Our resident Wiccan reflects on lessons we learn from people from our past.

Have you ever felt, upon first meeting someone, that you just KNOW them? I have. Many times. Sometimes it’s a good, solid connection. But sometimes, all of the hair stands up to attention at the back of my neck.

One such occasion was at a coven’s full moon ritual. A new member was joining and I was looking forward to this new energy within our circle. Immediately upon meeting her, I felt as if I had been hit across the face with negativity. I tried to shake it off, but with each subsequent meeting, the negative impact increased. My energy was being drained away. I realized that this was the result of a past life encounter that was unfinished. I created an amulet for protection and gradually weaned myself from her presence.

On the positive side, is my Aunt Marilyn. I was named for her. To say that she and I are very close is a gross understatement. She took me in as a teenager, moving me from one side of Canada to the other. From her, I learned that my opinions had value. I learned a hard work ethic from her. Love and respect were given freely. But it wasn’t until I approached my forties that we began to discuss spiritual topics. I sent her a copy of Positive Magic by Marion Weinstein.

If you haven’t read it, I highly recommend it. Containing a little bit of everything, it’s a good introduction to Wiccan teachings. The chapter on reincarnation resonated with us both. We started remembering past connections. We were together in San Francisco during the earthquake. And many more lifetimes too.

When my granddaughter was very young, she would crawl around our house cooing and chatting in toddler talk. I began to notice that she would be particularly attentive to a photo of my grandparents that I had on a low shelf. She would giggle and chat for extended periods of time. A connection, I thought.

When she was about three years old, circumstances led to my not seeing her for a few months. A chance encounter at the grocery store was magick. I had just bought a new, double terminated crystal and was wearing it around my neck. She was instantly drawn to it. Holding it, she looked deep into my eyes and said, “I know you.” I replied, “Yes, my dear. I know you, too.” Shaking her head, she said, “No. Gran. I mean I really know you. It’s your eyes. I know your eyes.” My heart soared with love.

I am eternally (literally!) grateful for these connections in my life. When I encounter someone that I just know I KNOW, I pay attention. It is a sacred reminder that we are all connected, backward, forward and sideways through the webs of our lives, tangled up more deeply and with more complexity than we often realize. Maybe we meet someone briefly in this life who we wish we had more time with, or feel that we should have more time with, and in another lifetime we will. Isn’t that a comforting thought? Or maybe we bump into someone from our past. Just in case, though, you may want to keep a protective amulet somewhere safe, like your silk boxer (or lingerie) drawer.

Love/Sex/Moon Magick: Not A Fool’s Journey. By Lynn Eaton

Unsure about your upcoming journey? Whether it’s a short trip or a new beginning, the Tarot might just have some answers for you.

Going on a trip? Unsure about the timing or the destination? A quick consultation with your favorite tarot deck could help you clarify the situation.

Tarot is very much a metaphor for life’s journey. The first card in the major arcana is The Fool. In many decks, the Fool is pictured as a vagabond with a hobo-like pack dangling from a stick, jauntily walking towards a cliff, carefree. At first glance, it may appear that it means foolhardy or careless. It does not. It’s about our travels through this life and the helpers we meet or the challenges we face. It’s also about trusting your intuition as you go.

To do a reading for your trip, place this card face up in front of you. Think about your adventure. What do want to see and do? When are you traveling? Ask the Universe to give you information that will help guide you at this time.

Shuffle the rest of the deck and have these (or similar) questions in your mind as you do so. You could also just ask the Universe for guidance, what do you need to be aware of at this time for this trip?

Place the deck, face down, into three piles directly below the Fool. The pile to the left represents the past. What has happened previously that has influenced your decision? The middle pile is the present. What is affecting your essence at this moment? The right pile is for the future. What do you need to be aware of on your trip? These are the influences that are at work for this adventure.

Cards you’d like to see in the future card for a positive outcome include:

Six of Cups. Refill your emotional cups. If you’re planning to visit a place that was important in your youth especially, this is a positive indication that this is what you need at this time.

Three of Wands. Usually, this card shows a figure looking out over an ocean. In my deck, there are ships in the harbor. The new journey is in front of you, vast and unexplored. The possibilities are grand!

The World. Everything is possible. Successful and rewarding journey. Go!

Cards you’d not like to see on that future positioned card, a negative possible outcome include:

The Tower. The card’s illustration shows that lightning has struck the tower. People are jumping off of it to their doom. The foundation has been rocked to its core. My advice if you see this card? Don’t go! It’ll probably end badly.

Four of Pentacles. This card shows an old man holding down his coins, looking very unhappy. This usually means that this trip is going to be very costly. Unexpected expenses could pop up and leave you feeling forlorn.

Three of Swords. Three swords are piercing a heart. Blood is dripping from them all. In my opinion, this is Ultimate Sadness. I cannot imagine anything more painful than this. Not a great time to go off exploring into the unknown.

The Fool trusts intuition and so should you. The tarot can help you to focus in on what is possible or probable at this particular split-second in time. Just don’t jump off of any real cliffs into the abyss. Take it as advice from a trusted friend and if you decide to travel, enjoy yourself!

Love/Sex/Moon Magick: The Power of Sex. By Lynn Eaton

Did you know that your orgasm is pure Magick? Our resident Wiccan explains its loving, sexy power.

Sex. S-E-X. Much has been written, sung, discussed, and argued about this very joyful experience. But there is an aspect of sex that perhaps not many folks have experienced. It is Power. It is Magick.

The energy released at orgasm can be magnificent and when channeled effectively can create Magickal Intention to manifest works. But it must be done carefully. It must be done with full knowledge of your partner’s purposes. You must be synchronized with a clear focus for the rite. If not, it can be disastrous.

Many years ago, I thought that I had found a perfect partner in my life, love, and Magick. He was Wiccan. We worked in a circle together doing full moon rituals and Wheel of the Year celebrations. I thought we were ready for some working together using the energy raised during sex as the apex of our ritual. I bought a new tarot deck as “our” deck that we would also use to focus our intent.

He knew of a secluded spot out in the country where all that was left of an old farmhouse was its fireplace. As the heart of the home, we thought it would make the perfect area for us. We hiked in twice with all our supplies for the night: Candles, symbols of the four directions, blankets, food, and a boom box.

We spread our blankets and organized the space. Movement on the old chimney caught our eyes. Ladybugs. Thousands of them. A good luck omen, we thought. We spread out our new tarot deck. We got naked.

The circle was cast, candles were lit, and music played softly. We moved with the rhythm. And then… nothing. Maybe it was all of the preparation or the concrete-like hardness of the ground. Maybe it was the coolness of the darkness overtaking us. Maybe it was the mosquitos.

We got dressed. We closed the circle. We had our picnic as we browsed the images on the tarot cards. None of them resonated with either of us. What went wrong?

No clear intention. No goal for the working. We split up as a couple soon afterward. Intention makes the difference. Well, that and the right partner.

Like my Hunny Man. Together almost twenty years now, we make a good team. We’ve manifested some great things into our lives, too. The place we live is the best example of the culmination of some excellent Sex Magick.

We thought that we were content living in a duplex in the city, camping at a friend’s parent’s lakeside acreage on weekends and holidays. And we were. Until they told us that they were going to sell their place. Our glorious refuge from the hustle and bustle. The site of our handfasting. So, we decided to clear the path to our “perfect place in the country.”

Alone by the campfire, we made it clear what we wanted. We sang. We laughed. We got naked. We moved with the rhythm of our hearts. And then… Magick! Maybe it was the softness of our tent trailer’s bed. Maybe it was the warmth from the glow of the campfire. Maybe it was no bugs.

As the fire between our bodies magnified, we released simultaneously. I spoke aloud, “Find us our perfect place! Find us our home!” Our intention was clear and united. One month later, we found our spot.

The real difference between these two experiences with Sex Magick is love. True, honest, messy. No bells and whistles with the “right” tools was needed with my Hunny Man. Just love and clear intention.

Love/Sex/Moon Magick: Full Moons I Have Known and Loved. By Lynn Eaton

In this entry in her regular column, our resident Wiccan reminisces about her life with full moons and bright blessings.

I can feel its power grow. I feel the pull of it coursing through my very veins, like the tides it also controls. Full moons make me wide awake and energized. My sleep patterns go wonky.

There has been much written about full moons and their effect on humans and animals alike. Accounts of emergency room visits climb. Children run around like banshees. Werewolves are on the prowl.

As a nine-year-old, I remember walking the snow-covered roads near my house under the full moon. It felt right somehow. I felt safe. Its glow cast shadows and illuminated the sparkling whiteness surrounding me. I danced and sang its glory.

When my daughter was nine, we drove 3,000 kilometers to my sister’s house in Northern Ontario. It was a long, long drive through questionable, snowy highways. The sun had been set for hours as we neared her house. It was Winter Solstice, December 21st. It was also a full moon. The sky had cleared by then and the full moon shone down in all its glory. The Northern Lights danced for us. As we pulled into her driveway, a shooting star streaked overhead. A magickal memory filled with gratitude and love.

Two years later, I was days away from moving my daughter, our two cats and all of our worldly possessions across the continent. Our destination was another sister’s house in Nova Scotia with her husband, son, and two cats. It was a daunting task. The moon was full and I couldn’t sleep. I went out barefoot onto the damp grass and looked up for guidance.

Staring up at the fullness of the representation of the Goddess, I began to chant softly. I raised my arms and felt the power being drawn down into my body. The connection grew stronger. My feet tingled with energy. It spread throughout my body and I pulsed with power. I gave thanks and knew that I would be okay.

Many years passed and dozens of full moons.

I met my Hunny Man and we were handfasted (Wiccan wedding). We were driving across Canada with our truck camper and decided to overnight near Thunder Bay, Ontario. There’s a monument there of his hero, Terry Fox. The sun was setting as we walked up to his statue. It felt calm and potent.

As it turned out, it was a calm before the storm. Thunder, lightning and torrential rain pounded our little camper. It rocked in the wind. And other things. Great orgasmic things. And the full moon greeted us early the next morning as we left in the calm of the dawn.

Most recently, the full moon in Athens rocked my world. It had always been a dream of mine to sip ouzo in view of the Parthenon (Acropolis) in Athens during the Summer Solstice. I traveled there alone for three weeks of adventure. I explored Athens, took a five-day bus tour, visited my best friend from high school, and lazed on Greek island beaches.

I was taking a photo with my phone when a male voice said, “You’ll have a better view from the rooftop café. It’s just through here. Take the elevator.” He was right. It was spectacular. The full moon was just rising, pink in the reflection of the setting sun. Olive trees framed the majestic structure. I raised my glass of ouzo, toasted, and gave thanks for the bright blessings of this trip.

In the light of this month’s full moon, I am grateful for all of these and the many more to come. I will share its power and strength with my friends, my family, and my Hunny Man. Bright Blessings to you all.

Love/Sex/Moon Magick: Lammastide. By Lynn Eaton

Our local Wiccan explores a traditional summer lovin’ ritual of Lammastide – "handfasting" of couples for a year and a day. It's a sort of trial marriage (or however you want to consider it) that you can try at home.

Shakespeare introduced me to Lammas. Specifically, the Nurse in Romeo and Juliet: “On Lammas-Eve at night shall she be fourteen.” As a teenager, I thought it was fabulous that the heroine we were studying was close to my own age but what the heck was Lammas?

Lammas is on August 1st and marks about halfway from the summer solstice of June 21st to the autumnal equinox on September 21st. Traditionally, it’s the time of the first harvest. The first fruits of the fields and gardens are ready to be savored. The days and nights are warm and sultry. Winter is far in the distance. It’s still light far into the evenings.

The weather at Lammas is usually perfect for outdoor celebrations and everywhere across the Northern Hemisphere such festivities usually take place: Family gatherings, county fairs, music festivals, carnivals, fireworks, and picnics. Perfect for trysts. And magickal rites.

According to Llewellyn’s Sabbat Essentials: Lughnasdh, this was a time for handfasting of couples. A trial marriage that lasted a year and a day, the union could be ended without penalty after that time. Nowadays, it could be a perfect time to renew vows in ritual with your partner.

Here’s what I plan to do with my Hunny Man at sunset that night:

Have a nice campfire glowing and let our breathing become slow, even, and synchronized.
Face North. Feel the strength and stability of the Earth beneath our feet. Thank the Power of the North for this Gift.
Face East. Feel the breath of Air around us. Thank the Power of the East for this Gift.
Face South. Feel the heat of the Fire on our skins. Thank the Power of the South for this Gift.
Face West. Feel the quenching taste of water as we sip from our cups. Thank the Power of South for this Gift.
Join hands and feel the energy of the space and each other’s energies mingling in this moment of time and space.
Thank each other for the commitments, talents, memories, love and laughter shared over our years together.
Thank each other too, for the challenges we’ve been able to conquer and from which we’ve grown. Individually and together.
Welcome the future together with the commitment to continue to be partners, listening to each other’s points of view.
Face each of the directions, beginning in the West and thank the Powers for the Gifts of this Rite.
Close the ritual by saying “Thank you for this Lammastide rite! Merry Meet and Merry Part and Merry meet again!
Feed each other pieces of bread and sips of ale or wine as tokens of the nourishment we provide to each other.

This is my way to honor Lammastide. It’s simple and personal. It’s to give thanks and celebrate the earth, my partner, and myself. Online and in dozens of books, you will find other such plans for celebrating Lammas. Find one that speaks to you or design one of your own!

Love/Sex/Moon Magick. Love Potion No. 9 By Lynn Eaton

A regular column from our resident Wiccan Lynn Eaton

For those of us who have attained a certain age, “Love Potion No. 9” is iconic. The rhythmic beat, the smooth vocals, and lyrics combine to form the magickal elixir for an excellent make-out session in the darkened corners of the park—but it’s also a cautionary tale of what happens when a love spell goes sideways.

So, are there really love potions? An elixir to make someone fall in love with you? To make your sex really, really hot? Yes. There are. Aphrodisiacs have been around for thousands of years. Oysters, chocolate, and wine to name a few. Wait. Wine? Chocolate wine? Mmmmm.

As a practicing witch, many friends and acquaintances have asked me to weave a love spell for them. Not happening. Too many variables. I cannot make anyone fall in love with you. Well, maybe I could, but it’s not ethical. (Free will and all that…) But there is a plethora of magickal things that you can do for yourself to attract a new love interest. Here’s a simple one, but DO NOT DO THIS WITH A SPECIFIC PERSON IN MIND. It will always go sideways.

Friday nights, ruled by Venus, are the best for love spells. After a soothing bath or a cleansing shower, put on some romantic music. “Something” by The Beatles. “Sexual Healing” by Marvin Gaye. Or anything Barry White gets me all mushy. But that’s just me. You know yourself best. Play that.

I recommend a pink candle for love and friendship. With your fingernail or even a toothpick, carve images or words that represent love to you. It could be hearts, runes, or the word love. Anything that symbolizes love to you.

In a small bowl (I’ve even used a shot glass for this!) mix together a small amount of olive oil, lavender, ground ginger and dried rose petals. As you’re combining the ingredients together, clearly envision what a love pairing means to you. Rub the candle with your concoction while continuing to focus on your intention of attracting new love into your life.

Calm your breathing. Say these (or similar) words as you light the candle: With this candle, I release my desire for a new flame. Into the Universe, I request the perfect romantic partner to enter my life. I usually add: As I will, so more it be! As you feel the energy being released, allow the candle to completely burn down in a safe place.

Once it’s burned itself out, combine any of the remaining oil and herb mixtures with the wax. Put it into a small piece of pink cloth and keep it under your pillow. Release the energy into the Universe and dream sweet dreams of new love!

One more thing: When you are gifted that new partner, remember to thank the Universe for them. Take that charm from underneath your pillow and scatter it into the wind, or into a stream as a token of your gratitude. Blessed Be!

Love/Sex/Magick. Hey There, Lover! By Lynn Eaton

A regular column from our resident Wiccan Lynn Eaton

Lover. Cat lover? Music lover? My lover? In the Tarot, there’s even a card for that: The Lovers. But before we jump into the card’s possible meanings, a bit of background information is necessary.

The Lovers card traditionally means a romantic relationship, but it can also indicate a great partnership in your career. If you are trying to decide on a course of action, this card reveals that the choice is an excellent and positive one. If the card is reversed though, it can mean to be aware of what your expectations are in the relationship. Have you put someone or something up on a pedestal? Is it perfection or a mirage?

Tarot conjures many emotions and images. It’s supposed to do that. Carl Jung has a whole book dedicated to its imagery and meaning. And there are literally thousands of other books and blogs about the subject. I haven’t written a book, but I have been reading tarot for over 25 years and have developed my own philosophy about the cards:

Tarot is not fortunetelling. It’s merely a way of tapping into where there may be answers to questions.
If you have a question, ask it. BUT…If you don’t want to know the answer, DON’T ASK THE QUESTION!
“Universal Override” is my concept of what happens if the cards seem to be responding to something other than the query posed. It’s the Universe’s way of telling you to pay attention to this area of your life.
There’s no wrong (or right) way to shuffle the cards. Some readers get all snippy about this. I’ve been to readers who barely allow querents to touch their cards. Not me. Shuffle away!
Tarot cannot tell you what to do. It can offer possible outcomes of choices though.

So…Lovers, Card VI of the Major Arcana. Major Arcana? Briefly, it’s the soul’s journey. What Joseph Campbell coined as “The Hero With A Thousand Faces.” In many tarot decks, this card depicts nudity and sensuality. The original pairing and coming together in passion and partnership and commitment.

I have dozens of decks of tarot cards: Robin Wood, Motherpeace, Gilded Tarot and Crow Tarot are my most frequently used. I’ve laid out the Lovers from each of these decks and laid them out side by side. They’re all unique, as lovers and their relationships should be. But they also have commonalities.

This is a representation of the Perfect Relationship. Yin and Yang. Sun and Moon. Darkness and Light. Positive and Negative. Partnership. Harmony. Love. And Sexuality.

When Lovers come together in Perfect Harmony and Balance, the Universe sighs with contentment and passion. The climax and release of togetherness.

But what if you want to decide between two lovers? Can tarot help with that? Yes.

Place the Lovers card onto your surface: It could be a table, the floor, your bed. Shuffle the remaining cards and think about your choices. When you feel they’re ready, choose a card for each choice and lay one card, face down, on each side of the Lovers. Turn the cards over one at a time. The cards displayed should give you insight into what lies ahead for you with each person.

But be careful! If you don’t want the answer to that choice of yours, don’t ask the question!

Love / Sex / Moon Magick. Mercury Retrograde Fucks Sex. Not in a good way. By Lynn Eaton

A regular column from our resident Wiccan Lynn Eaton.

Lovespeak is a complicated language at the best of times, but during Mercury Retrograde, it’s almost impossible. It’s like trying to rake leaves in a snowstorm.

For those of you who may not be familiar with Mercury Retrograde, let me give you the Reader’s Digest definition of it: Mercury was the ancient Roman god who ruled communication. To the ancients, there were periods of time when the planet Mercury appeared to be traveling backwards through the night sky. Retrograde.

When added together, it means that communication is fucked. All forms of it: texts, emails, phone calls, Zoom meetings, face-to-face. And sex.

Sex is a touchy subject. Literally. Good touch. Energizing touch. Magick touch. (Yes, you can do sex magick. More on that in a future column.)

When I was younger, I was afraid to express my feelings about what felt good in my body during sex. Or what didn’t. Looking back on those days, it’s almost as if I was in a constant state of miscommunication. Retrograde.

There’s that word again. Retrograde. The concept itself is misunderstood. Mercury isn’t really going backward. It just looks that way. And, so it is with communication. We need to be clear about it. Be sure that what we say, write, and express is what others receive from us.

Our world is much more cluttered than that of the ancient Romans or Greeks. We like to believe that with our technology that communication is easier. It is. And yet it also is not.

Texting is a perfect example of that. I remember a text that my Hunny Man sent to me. I forget exactly what was said, but he meant it to be funny. In-person, it would have been. But I misunderstood it and was mightily pissed off. When I got home from work, we were able to clear the air and we had a good chuckle. And checked the planets. Mercury was in retrograde.

From May 29 to June 22 we will experience this phenomenon again. It’s occurring during the entire Gemini sun phase. Wanna guess what rules Gemini? Yup, Mercury. God of communication. Great. (Sarcasm, in case that wasn’t clear.)

As a Gemini, I can look at this two ways: I could take it as an indication that everything I say will be misconstrued. I’ll have to explain the nuances of everything that comes out of my mouth or through my devices. Or—I could look at it as a sort of cross cancellation. Maybe retrograde-ness will be lessened by sun in Gemini. I could revel in all of my communications and the clarity that I intend. The choice is obvious to me.

I usually have a tendency to blurt out whatever is on my mind without thinking about it too much. Sex has been the exception, but I’m getting better at it. I have relied on sending “signals” that I want to “fool around.” Unsurprisingly, I’m often disappointed that even after almost twenty years together, the signals get crossed. This retrograde will be more “Hey, Hunny. Let’s go upstairs for some serious lovemaking.” Or even the more blatant, “I am in the mood for sex. Are you too?” And Retrograde be damned.

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