Spice up your bedtime routine with simple rituals for relaxing, bonding, and igniting a spark.
Bedtime rituals that couples often do together can become mundane. (Think brushing your teeth and spitting a mouthful of Colgate down the drain together.) The same old grind can lose its flavor like a stale, day-old Pop-Tart--and in dire need of resuscitation. The daily predictable patterns can inadvertently steal the joy out of a relationship and become at risk for complacency which leads to deadly indifference. But have no fear! Incorporating the right rituals can ignite powerful bonds, connections, and harmony. Sharing things with your significant other, whether it’s a bucket of popcorn while watching Netflix, taking turns giving each other a back rub, or leaving each other a loving/silly/sexy Post-It note in a totally unexpected place can foster positive feelings that last well after the day is over. Rituals don’t have to be expensive, elaborate, or time-consuming but an opportunity to reinforce that your relationship is a priority.
Bedtime can be the perfect time to unwind and indulge your partner by introducing simple rituals that can have an impact on intimacy and encourage a blissful night’s sleep. Here’s how you can incorporate or tweak the ones you already have:
First, set the mood: Dim the lights, turn off the technology! Do you really need to text your co-worker, now, in bed?
And here are my suggestions for taking it all one step further...
Hit the Shower: I remember my ex used to say that a shower washed off the day. He was 100% right. Take turns giving your love a scrub down. The power of touch builds intimacy and makes every inch of you feel pampered.
Try: Goop G. Tox 5 Salt Detox Body Scrub. It exfoliates, softens, hydrates, and detoxifies with 5 mineral-rich salts
I also like Pacifica’s Lavender Moon Body Scrub
Play Footsie: Never underestimate the power of a 10-minute foot massage and its unexpected benefits. Your feet are an erogenous zone and a massage can offer mild arousal, fight depression (who knew?), improve circulation and reduce tension. And it’s a selfless gift to give to your partner.
Try: Dr Scholl’s Hot & Cold Massage Ball or massage the bottom of their feet with warm coconut oil or olive oil. Using your thumb, press in and around the pad of the big toe for at least one minute.
Tea for Two: Go brew a soothing beverage to relax muscles, regulate your nervous system and make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
Try: Pukka Herbs Night Time Tea. It’s caffeine-free, and contains soothing lavender and silk-sweet lime flower. If you are not a fan of tea, then sip Dream Powder, a healthy version of hot cocoa…without the marshmallows! It has sleep-enhancing vitamins and minerals to relax muscles (magnesium, melatonin, nano CBD which has No THC, if you were wondering) and will have you spooning in no time.
Pillow Talk: I truly love this one--intimate conversations where guards are down and desires, worries, and struggles are revealed. The thoughts that have been tucked away can easily be shared, without pretense and with the aid of journaling or reading inspirational quotes aloud.
Try: A Year of Us: A Couples Journal: One Question a Day to Spark Fun and Meaningful Conversations (Question a Day Couple's Journal) by Alicia Munoz. You would be amazed at what you will discover, even if you think you know EVERYTHING about your partner or finish each other’s sentences. (By the way, everyone has a dirty, little secret hiding behind that skeleton). If you are into thoughtful questions, you might also like Sweet Dreams: Night-Time Affirmations Before Bed (Mini Inspiration Cards).
Smooch: Seal it with a kiss! Kisses boost your happy hormones (endorphins, oxytocin) and encourage feelings of affection, and bonding, lower cortisol levels and alleviate stress--but only after applying a soothing lip mask to keep your pout soft, hydrated, and kissable.
Try: Laneige Lip Sleeping Mask or Henne’ Organics Lip Mask.
Remember that whatever your ritual entails, if it’s something special and helps you to reconnect, honor, and strengthen your relationship when life gets in the way. Everyone wins.
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The Crush Letter is a weekly newsletter curated by Dish Stanley on everything love & connection - friendship, romance, self-love, sex. If you’d like to take a look at some of our best stories go to Read Us. Want the Dish?
