Introduction to the Podcast Sex With Emily.
Redefine Your Comfort Zone: The 17 Sex With Emily Podcasts That PrimeCrush Readers Should Get On Top Of.
This series highlights the best episodes from our favorite podcasts. One of them is Sex With Emily hosted by Sex Expert Dr. Emily Morse. Every single one is worth a serious listen, but I have picked out the {12} invaluable episodes that CRUSH Readers who want to be good in bed really.can't.miss.
If Sex With Emily isn’t on your must-listen podcast list already, you may want to add it.
After searching for and listening through countless podcasts on sexual guidance and technique to recommend to CRUSH Readers, Sex With Emily stands out. It’s not too academic or full of dull, impractical theories, though many podcasts are. It is not affiliated with a religion, and a surprising number are. It makes learning about sex fun—and sexy.
Dr. Emily offers practical ways to get outside your comfort zone, but more than that, she can help you redefine your comfort zone. Sex With Emily is the longest-running podcast about sex and relationships, and its mix of interviews and call-in questions covers a lot of ground.
I have listened through Sex With Emily to pick out the absolute best of the best, and most relevant for the CRUSH audience. Stay tuned to this column over the coming weeks because I will be sharing with you all of the can’t-miss episodes, starting here.
AMPLIFY! Sex With Emily Podcast: {No. 12} Best Of Adventurous Sex
Episode Date: November 25, 2016 (51 Minutes)
Relationships are only new for a little while, so couples that are going the distance must adapt. Even if you don’t think you’re the adventurous type, adding a little adventure can make your sex life feel shiny and new again.
Adventures in the Bedroom
Some people think that having adventurous sex sounds like a lot of work. Who has the time to think up something new to do every time you have sex? But you don’t have to reinvent the wheel.
Emily compares sex to yoga: you can make minor modifications that change the entire posture. If you always have sex in the bedroom, try a new location like the kitchen or a hotel. Watch porn together. These conversations may seem intimidating, but she has tips for bringing them up casually.
If you’ve never considered getting out of your comfort zone and connecting with your partner in a way that feels a bit daring, now is your chance.
Best lines:
19:57 “56% who have done it admit that sexting has improved their relationships…I think you people in your committed relationships here probably need to sext more than others…like I always say, foreplay starts after the last orgasm.”
24:31 “There’s something about being removed from your partner. And the reason why I think couples say [phone sex] improves their sex life is because you can say those things that you can’t say to your partner, like, ‘I see you right now all tied up with a ball-gag in your mouth.’”
30:30 “What I’m saying is, when it comes to monogamous sex, it’s like having the same meal every day for the rest of your life. So, no matter how great the sex is, it can feel like a routine.”
39:55 “Sit down with your partner, and you make a sexy bucket list. So, you write down new things you want to try. You each could write down five and exchange it… like ‘I wish we had rougher sex,’ or ‘I wish we made out more.’”
Listen to this episode if: You need some ideas to jumpstart your sexual creativity.
Amplify: Sex with Emily Podcast: {No. 11} Making Scheduled Sex Hot
Episode Date: March 8, 2016 (48 Minutes)
Dr. Emily wasn’t always a proponent of scheduled sex. No, at first, she thought it was boring, soul-sucking, and passionless—many of the knee-jerk reactions many of us have when thinking about adding another item to our to-do list. But now, she’s a convert.
In this episode, Emily talks about how a sex schedule can save your relationship. And she also takes questions from listeners about communication issues and how popular anal sex has recently become (and what to do if you’re not interested).
Penciling In Pleasure
Planning out intimacy doesn’t mean it becomes a chore. We typically associate romance with spontaneity, and calendar sex is certainly not spontaneous. Yet, sometimes it’s necessary. Putting sex on the calendar simply means that couples who are busy will prioritize it.
Everyone can find time for sex—and putting it on the calendar keeps you both accountable. And Emily has specific, easy-to-implement tips for making the scheduled sex feel less like an entry in your planner and more like something you’ll both be looking forward to all day long.
Best lines:
10:36 “Make a rational schedule. You want to sit down with your partner, [during a] calm moment, outside the bedroom…and discuss how much sex you’d both like to be having because it has to be agreeable.”
12:02 “Sex begets sex. The more sex you have, the more sex you’re going to want.”
15:15 “Remember this is for you just as much as your partner. Sex is the glue in a relationship…so if your sex life has been dwindling or you’re challenged, schedule it. Even if you’re sleepy…that orgasm is going to feel so much better and put you to sleep.”
40:15 “Anal is acceptable. When I went to school…anal sex wasn’t even on the menu. It wasn’t even on the radar. Like, I would have been shocked if someone was like, ‘let’s have anal.’ About ten years ago is when it really started to become the hot thing.”
Listen to this episode if: You want reassurance that scheduled sex can be a game-changer rather than a mood-killer.
Amplify! Sex With Emily: Your Top 5 Sex Questions, Answered {No. 10}
Episode Date October 9, 2021 (45 Minutes)
The Top 5 Questions:
How do I talk to my partner about sex? First, you have to plan for it. Doing it spontaneously is a serious no-no. She recommends doing it on a road trip, which is smart—no awkward eye contact, but plenty of chill. Sometimes, sex talks get defensive, but Emily has ideas to circumvent that, too.
How can I get better at oral sex? Emily gives ideas on how to help your partner become more giving at oral sex, and it’s not about how you move your mouth. She gets into the psychology of oral sex. If you’re looking for the dirty details, she has plenty, including where to lick and what to hold.
How can I spice up my sex life? When buying new lingerie just isn’t cutting it, Emily says novelty, variety, and spontaneity are the names of the game.
How can I increase my sex drive? Emily talks about playing detective to understand the physical, emotional, and social blocks to getting turned on and the difference between spontaneous and responsive desire.
How can I last longer during sex? News flash: Kegels aren’t just for women. Learning self-control and edging techniques can help anyone delay orgasm and increase sexual pleasure.
Best lines:
7:24 “Communication is lubrication. The more we talk about sex, the better it’s going to get.”
10:10 “I cannot emphasize enough the importance of verbal confirmation…there’s nothing like performing a killer oral act on a partner, and they’re just mute. They’re quiet. You’re like, does this feel good? Do they still have a pulse?”
28:30 “If you have chicken every single night for dinner, well, sometimes you’re going to want pizza!... You’ve been having chicken sex, and now you need some pizza sex.”
36:28 “Sometimes we think it’s a low libido, but we really have high boredom.”
Listen to this episode if: You want specific, detailed ideas about how to solve the most common sexual issues that couples have.
Amplify! Sex with Emily Podcast: {No.9} Ask Emily: I Can’t Orgasm Without…
Episode Date July 16, 2021 (41 minutes)
This episode of Sex With Emily tackles the tough questions: what if you’re not quite sure that you’re straight—and you’re already married? How can you casually mention that you are interested in a threesome? Should you tell your partner how many people you’ve slept with, and is it any of their business in the first place? How can you mention that you might have a golden showers fetish, and where did that fetish come from? Dr. Emily offers some expert tips for smoothing over difficult conversations.
The Tough Stuff
From crying after sex to a partner who doesn’t enjoy oral to someone disgusted by their own taste in porn, Emily talks about why it’s important to be straightforward with our partners about what we like, what we don’t, and what we envision for the future of our sex lives.
Best lines:
8:30 “Tears are healing. Have a good cry this week. It’s good for you.”
10:26 “Whatever we resist, persists…Unfortunately, things don’t just disappear after we think about them for too long; they actually get more and more intense.”
13:56 “I can tell you people who have slept with hundreds of people are not necessarily the best lovers. In fact, I’ve found that people in longer-term relationships that have been serial monogamists tend to be able to adapt to new partners.”
15:18 “I think the friendships you can have with exes…can be really beautiful.”
29:32 “Become an expert on your own fantasy life.”
31:54 “Here’s the thing about confidence: it really is an inside job. It’s something we all have to learn.”
40:27 “We think we can only orgasm a certain way, but none of that is true. We just have to retrain our bodies, our minds. It’s all possible, promise.”
Listen to this episode if: You need to hear that whatever sexual pattern you’re in right now can be changed for the better, and that the harder the sexual conversation appears, the more worthwhile it will be to have.
Amplify! Sex With Emily Podcast: {No. 8} Married Sex, But Better
Episode Date: November 15, 2016 (61 Minutes)
Having good sex in long-term relationships isn’t easy, and no one understands this better than Pam Costa, whose marriage nearly ended due to her and her husband’s different sexual desire levels. She went through a phenomenon that countless other women had experienced, too. And she has devoted her life to solving it.
Room for Improvement
After the medical community told Pam there was nothing they could do to help, Pam left her blossoming tech career at Apple to search for her own answers.
She always thought that sex was something she did for her husband. She grew up believing that sexual desire was something she shouldn’t have until marriage—and yet, she was surprised when it didn’t magically appear after she got married.
Pam and Emily discuss how to have a sensual awakening in the most literal sense—reconnecting with your senses so that you are more turned on. Pam learned to feel her body again, to notice her fantasies, and “keep her pilot light on”—a process of sustaining arousal so it’s easier for your partner to get you revved up.
Best lines:
22:28, Pam, “The first year of my journey was a lot of internal connection with my sexuality—and it benefitted my husband because I was more horny and more interested in trying things.”
28:14, Pam, “It helps keep sex and desire and eroticism more top of mind for me if I have a fantasy, if I have a toy that I’m excited to try… if I have a flirty email.”
35:44 Pam, “My natural state is to not think about sex organically…But I like this other version of myself. I really like it when the pilot light’s on. I feel more feminine; I feel more creative; I feel more alive.”
44:07, Pam, “There was a shift…to saying okay, what are your needs? What are my needs? I didn’t know what my needs were…and to really pause and be like ‘what are they’ and express them.”Listen to this episode if: Married sex is starting to feel like a chore, and you want to change that.
Amplify! Sex With Emily Podcast: {No. 7} Your Guide to Sexting
Episode Date: March 11, 2022 (27 Minutes)
A great sext is all about anticipation…kind of like foreplay: And as the 21st century way to talk dirty, sexting — when executed well — can be super hot. Sexting is an art form, and in this show, I give you pro tips for perfecting yours. Because let’s face it: randomly sending a bunch of squirting emojis might not be as sexy as it is confusing, for the person on the other side.
As with everything in life, good sexting comes down to emotional intelligence, so let’s talk shop.
Best Lines:
3:26 Sext your past and your future. A good way to warm things up is to talk about fantasies that involve them so it's like a preview. "I did something really bad, you might have to spank me."
5:36 Embrace the 3 dots. The best part of sexting is watching the other person type, wondering what they are going to say next.
8:48 Dont forget consent. Before you send someone a photo of your nipples, ask them "if its okay to send them something spicy."
23:10 There are so many apps that you can date virtually, use video function, you can use sex toys now where your partners can control a toy from the room next to you or across the world. There are even card games where you can deepen your intimacy.
Listen to this episode if: you need some help sending your best sexts and flirting online.
Amplify! Sex With Emily Podcast: {No. 6} Sex W/ My Ex
Episode Date July 28, 2021 (36 Minutes)
Sometimes, podcasts about sex only focus on other people’s problems. Not so with this podcast. Emily brings her ex, Ben Morrison, a standup comedian, on the show, and no topic is off-limits.
A Post-Mortem With Your Ex
Does the idea of talking to your ex intrigue you, or does it sound terrifying? Maintaining a friendship with your ex is natural for some and a hard pass for others.
The backstory: It’s been three years since they broke up, and afterward, he wrote a breakup song about her. They have the same birthday. Cause of relationship death? He wants kids; she doesn’t.
Emily is not afraid to ask the hard, awkward questions. And afterward, she answers questions from her listeners about their exes and more.
Best lines:
6:20 Emily, “Have you met anyone that you like as much as me?”
Ben, “I mean, no, I haven’t.”
7:54 Emily, “You’re the last guy I dated that I tagged on Instagram, let’s just say that.”
Ben, “It’s an honor.”
8:54 Emily, “Was it intimidating to date someone who has a sex show?”
Ben, joking, “Yeah, it’s intimidating for her, learning all this new stuff from me.”
11:07 Emily, “I think I had a harder time with the breakup than you…you know what it was? We slept together a few times. So, then I would sleep with you, and then I would get attached again.”
13:24 Ben, “You know that phrase I have? ‘The ass is always greener.’ Where, when you’re in a relationship, you romanticize being single, and when you’re single, you romanticize being in a relationship…I think I may have fallen victim to a little bit of that myself.”
14:56 Emily, “What would you say is like good advice for being friends with an ex?”
Ben, “It’s not going to work if there’s an imbalance of want.”
30:59 Emily, “When we go through a breakup, it’s like a mini-death. We really are experiencing a loss, a broken heart.”
Listen to this episode if: You want reassurance that no matter the size of your heartbreak, there is life and happiness after a breakup. Emily reminds us that healing doesn’t always happen in a straight line.
Amplify! Sex With Emily Podcast:{No. 5} Sex W/Comedians
Episode Date September 24, 2021 (52 Minutes)
Ever wonder if comedians are funny in bed? Emily talks to four comedians about their sex lives, and hilarity inevitably ensues. But, as luck would have it, comedians struggle with the same problems as many of us do: not having enough time and feeling insecure and anxious.
Who They Are.
Dean McDermott: Married to Tori Spelling and dad of six, Dean McDermott talks about how he keeps his sex life hot.
Nicky Paris: Nicky Paris shares a podcast with Dean and has never been in a relationship. He blames his Catholic guilt and tendency to be overly picky.
Margaret Cho: In addition to being a famous comedian, Margaret Cho is a long-time BDSM enthusiast who’s also a lifelong submissive. She jokes about how being Korean is having a moment right now, being in a sexless marriage, and the fact that she wants to stay single for the rest of her life.
Adam Ferrera: Famed for his role on Nurse Jackie, Adam Ferrera talks about sex and anxiety.
Best lines:
13:37 Dean, “I’m hung like a light switch. God is a cosmic joker.”
14:34 Emily, “Best sex tip?” Nicky, “Make sure there are towels and a Xanax close.”
20:23 Margaret, re: dick pics: “Sending disembodied genitalia, it’s like what is going on?” Emily, “I don’t want to see a dick in the wild. I don’t know this dick!”
25:34 Margaret, “To me, that discovery is just as sexy as the sex itself… The explanation of the things that you enjoy says a lot about you… To be able to share that is incredibly erotic and really intimate and really beautiful. And when you can be that vulnerable, you become very strong.”
28:20 Margaret, “If you look at the clitoris and you say, ‘where does the clitoris start?’ I think mine starts at the sole of my foot.”
40:21 Adam, “Here’s the thing that works for us: I know her crazy. She knows my crazy… and I know the way we function as a unit.”
Listen to this episode if: you want to hear lighthearted anecdotes about seriously relatable sexual issues.
Amplify! Sex With Emily Podcast:{No 4} Turn Yourself On With Esther Perel
Episode Date August 31, 2021 (57 Minutes)
Esther Perel has a magical way of bringing the contradictions of modern sex to light. Why does whatever is forbidden suddenly become erotic? Why does the partner who makes you feel emotionally safe also make you feel bored in the bedroom? Can risk and excitement co-exist with stability and reliability?
Esther talks about the crisis of desire, where the demands on our relationships grow longer as our lifespans grow longer. A lack of desire—or the temptation to look elsewhere to satisfy sexual desire—can feel almost inevitable. She rejects the notion that good sex is about trying new positions but instead believes it’s about harnessing your imagination.
Want to have more orgasms? Esther recommends that you find something to boost your ego. For Esther, pleasurable sex and self-worth are inextricably linked.
Best lines:
6:37 “‘Can we want what we already have is the fundamental question of desire.”
9:22 “We have the idea that sexual needs and emotional needs are one and the same and they always go neatly aligned together, and that is not necessarily the case.”
13:24 “Women have [had] sex for centuries and felt nothing. So, desire is not the desire to ‘do it.’”
15:43 “I’m interested in the erotic dimension of sex, the poetics, the meaning of it. Not what you do. The same gesture in sex can be ultimately pleasurable…and it can be utterly cringey. It’s not this gesture versus that; it’s the context.”
18:33 “Pleasure is not about the outcome.”
31:51 “The soulmate model says, ‘We have everything we need with each other. You’re my one and only. You fulfill all my needs.’ And that is a recipe for catastrophe.”
45:44 “The beautiful thing about fantasy is that you are at the same time the author and the protagonist and the director. You get to play all the roles.”
Listen to this episode if You want to learn how to turn yourself on, become more curious, and understand sex as a way to feel alive.
Amplify! Sex With Emily Podcast:{No 3} Seducing the Booty With Alicia Sinclair
Episode Date: August 24, 2021 (52 Minutes)
Anal is no longer a niche interest—it’s in the mainstream. But information about why anal is so popular is not as prevalent. Dr. Emily talks with b-Vibe Founder Alicia Sinclair about how to have an anal orgasm and get ready for anal sex because, yes, it takes preparation.
Coming From Behind
There’s a commonly held misconception that if you’re interested in exploring anal, the first stop is penetrative sex. However, for most people, that’s not a good idea. Anal training, which is the process of gradually working up toward anal sex, can mean the difference between painful anal sex and an anal orgasm.
Pain shouldn’t be a part of the anal sex equation. Rather, it’s a sign that you’re not ready for the activity yet. Dr. Emily and Alicia outline ways to problem solve pain and get to climax. They also have tips so that you aren’t worried about your digestive system when things take a sexy turn.
Best lines:
0:08 Emily, “73% of respondents said they want to learn more about anal play.”
5:05 Alicia, “My first experiences with anal play were not pleasurable because I didn’t have any type of knowledge or understanding of what makes anal play pleasurable. I just thought…that this was like something you did for your partner…that you got drunk and grinned and bear it.”
7:12 Alicia, “Your finger is your best sex toy…Playing with yourself allows you to be a giver and receiver. You can control depth; you can control frequency.”
22:39 Alicia, “Think about butt plugs as yoga stretches. You’re going to go further, you’re going to take your time, and you’re going to listen to your body and do it when it’s appropriate for you and feels good. It’s not a race.”
24:17 Emily, “It’s playful; it’s a buildup. You don’t just jump right into anal. You get to build up to it, and that’s fun.”
38:45 Alicia, “Kegels will not only strengthen your vaginal canal but also strengthen your entire pelvic hammock, so you get everything: the butt and the vagina.”
Listen to this episode if: You want expert advice on how to maximize anal pleasure.
Amplify! Sex With Emily Podcast: {No 2} Meditation Is a Lubrication, With Light Watkins
Episode Date: May 21, 2021 (59 Minutes)
Meditation’s benefits go beyond curbing anxiety. Meditation can help you react to negative consequences and adapt to them, making you more effective, resilient, and happier in the long run. Better yet, meditation’s advantages can help you find more sexual satisfaction, too.
Quieting the Mind and Firing Up the Desire
Dr. Emily talks to Light Watkins about meditation, happiness, and sex. He thinks that happiness is a muscle that needs exercise, and meditation is the best workout.
If you can change your relationship to your thoughts, you have power over your insecurities, stress, and whatever inhibits your sexual desire. Light talks about how to reverse-engineer gratitude so that challenges aren’t as daunting and so that you can live in a mostly permanent state of appreciation.
Best Lines:
10:34 Light, “Overreacting is the death of a relationship—a series of overreactions. Because what you’re doing is making people not feel seen or heard.”
15:52 Emily, “When you are having sex, it can be a meditative experience that you’re not actually thinking about.”
22:08 Light, “Everyone is disciplined at something, but the question is: is that thing good for you? Is it good for the world? I would argue that someone who is binge-watching Netflix shows on the regular is disciplined at binge-watching Everyone has discipline with something; the question is: is it adding value to your life or not?”
24:20 Light, “‘I don’t have time’ is like Raiders of the Lost Arc, it’s like Star Wars. It’s not real! It sounds great; it’s exciting to say ‘I don’t have time,’ but it’s a fictional story.”
37:53 Light, “Most people will…treat the mind as though it’s wrong for thinking thoughts. What the masters are proficient at doing is making love to their mind to treating their mind not as the enemy but as their beautiful partner in this meditation journey.”
35:05 Light, “Stress is the reason why you can’t get it up at night…and meditation is like kryptonite to stress. Stress cannot survive in a deeply meditated nervous system.”
Listen to this episode if: You’ve been waiting for the right moment to commit to meditation practice.
Amplify! Sex With Emily Podcast: {No 1} Winner, Winner, Sex Before Dinner.
Episode Date: March 19, 2021 (35 minutes)
Some sex advice is vague to the point of ridiculousness, like: “be more creative!” It’s tough to be creative when you’ve had sex with the same person for years. This podcast episode is the opposite of vague. It has ideas you can implement next time you have sex (eg, next month, this week end, tonight—or, come to think of it, even right this minute).
Original Ideas for Spicing Things Up
From using pillows to help access your G-spot to using sex toys to make oral sex even more intense, this episode is dedicated to proving that long-term, monogamous sex can be anything but boring.
Emily gives helpful pointers for roleplaying fantasies that you wouldn’t necessarily want to fulfill in real life. You’ll also find out how to make doggy style more intimate and pleasurable for women.
Best lines:
6:09 “Your dirty talk is like a sexual narration of your fantasies… For those of you that get stuck on dirty talk…when you have a scenario that you guys can get into and play back and forth, it’s really hot. And you don’t have to make it up.”
7:59 “Couples that play together stay together.”
8:10 “Have sex before dinner. So, the sex happens, and then you go out to dinner, and you’re satiated from the sex, you’re not thinking about it anymore. And then you go out and have a great night.”
11:00 “There’s a great intensity and closeness when you actually can look into your partner’s eyes. So, this might be the connection you need during doggy style to take it to the next level.”
21:19 “So many of our sexual challenges are around finding the right words to communicate, and not only that, continuing to communicate and taking it to the next level. Sometimes we think, ‘Well, I talked about it! And therefore, it’s done, and my partner’s going to understand what I’m saying.’ I think when we really tell our partners the things we think we cannot say, that’s when the vulnerability happens, the connection. And, it enhances intimacy…Life is too short for bad sex.”
Listen to this episode if: You’ve read all the latest sex tips and you want to try something new and fresh. Listen here
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